“The time has come,” the Walrus said,

“To talk of many things:

Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–

   Of cabbages–and kings–

And why the sea is boiling hot–

   And whether pigs have wings.”

“The Walrus and The Carpenter” ~ Lewis Carroll ~

Devilishly designed and developed, written and evilly edited by

Tim

Allo,,, back again, didja miss me? What? Why? Why am I back to disturb your digestion? Simple really…

Tell ’em Sidney…

“There were times,

I´m sure you knew

When there was but – but

Wot fuckall else to do,”

 

Good evening viewers,
I was planning to make this a black tie event but… I don’t have a black tie…
So, I thought I’d pop in and annoy the living fuck outta everyone again, share some music, share some thoughts, share some news from around the place, have a “weekly biatch” and make some purely personal deep and meaningful observations about shit that I have been privileged to see lately… sound fair? Good, well, off we go then…

Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha…!!! EPIC LEO…!!!

Tell me, do you sometimes sit in front of ye olde computer, or go to a “Vampyre Ball”, attend some other offline function connected with, or somehow influenced by the modern Vampire culture and find yourself thinking, “FUCK ME BACKWARDS… I’m actually EMBARRASSED to be associated with this culture”.? I guess it happens to all of us at one time or another… times when it makes about as much sense as buying lamb kidneys to make beef stroganoff…

What do you do when it happens to you?

 

Okayyyyyy, let’s just chill for a minute or two and see what my esteemed Research Director has for us this time… 

Oh yeah… NEW JERRRRRRRRR-SEY…!!! Are you reading, over?

September in
The Iron Garden

Get It On…!!!

Friday, Sept 28th – 9PM Sharp!

 

Not in NJ? Oh, that’s a shame… what about *drumroll*

AUS-TINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, come on dowwwwwwwwn…!!!

 

“Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are … and join all the creatures of the night, while perusing the macabre wares of local artisan Vampires, Witches, Werewolves and other Supernatural Beings.”

A Seance will be hosted by “Austin Mediums” at 10pm in the Seance Room Inside The Glass Coffin.

Wooooooooh… spooky shit dudes and dudettes… if you never experienced a seance first hand, check it out yeah?

Image source: The Glass Coffin

Heyyyyy, wait one cotton pickin’ minute… weren’t these Talamasca peeps, like, not so good to the poor ol’ vamps in QotD??? 

Talamasca: The Dark Gifts Market

Public · Hosted by The Glass Coffin: Vampire Parlour

Saturday, October 13 at 6 PM – 11 PM

Ohhhhhh… I see…

…and one more juicy tid-bit for y’all;

“If you are in NOLA, don’t miss this. I had the honor of being able to read this book a few months ago …. if you are an avid Dracula fan you will love this prequel …”
~ Lady M ~

Tuesday, October 9 at 6 PM – 7:30 PM

Garden District Book Shop

2727 Prytania St, New Orleans, Louisiana 70130

Hosted by Garden District Book Shop

OI, lookit, I reckon the drummer looks just like Ozzie Osborne…!!!

Nyuk… nyuk… nyuk… sweet dreams kiddies…!!!

Alright, let’s check the fuckin’ noise for a minute… there’s something that really needs paying attention to – YET AGAIN. Now this week, we have a “Guest Biatch” – that’s right, a special guest ‘Biatch’…

Johnny Rotten (A.K.A. John Lydon)
Img. source: AllMusic



Yeah, a VERY fitting song for us today…

Posted on July 7, 2012… remember that do ya?
“Bigotry in a Marginalized Minority Community – Vampires and Human Rights”

A wonderful editorial by Lady Elzie Roze. Now some might think that, “Yes, we’ve developed beyond that now, we’re past all that stuff that was going on back then…!”

BULL-PISSING-SHIT…!!! No more than four days ago (9/9/18 to be precise) we were privileged to witness one of the most blatant cases of “bigotry” that has been perpetrated lately and it really leaves one wondering… “What, did we we just stumble onto the set of the latest Underworld movie???” 

Now there might be people out there, perhaps a very large number who think it’s okay to have an opinion… you’re right, it is okay to have an opinion BUT it is not fucking alright to ram that opinion in people’s faces in a public forum, hosted by someone else and be flagrantly dismissive and outright prejudiced to boot.

If you’re ready to do that shit you might as well go and put on a pair of big boots and start marching around yelling “RAHOWAR…!!!”there’s no fucking difference.

Prejudice, bigotry, racism, intolerance, self-superiority… all disgusting things that bring NO BENEFIT, make the person acting thus look like a prize dick and resolves absolutely nothing all while creating a lasting ill-will and impression that weakens the perpetrator’s position and cause for a long time.

NO ONE RESPECTS A BIGOT, end of story…!!!


So there… I said it…

Now, there is one more thing I’d like y’all to think about…

So, here’s what I think… next time you sit down to watch your favourite T.V. show, movie, or sit down at your computer set a kitchen timer for fifteen minutes and when it rings pause for a minute’s silence for the person that died while you were sitting there… 1 every 15 minutes.

Copyright T. 2018 (except where otherwise noted)

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

Happy THOR’S-day…!!!

img. source: Lady Geek Girl on WordPress

Planned (with forethought) Developed, Edited, Arranged and Presented by

Tim

 

YES…!!! I planned it, I actually thought about what I was going to put here today and then I actually, really, meticulously (well, more or less) arranged today’s foray… don’t you feel privileged now??? 

First off, before we go anywhere…

Parental advisory explicit content vintage rusty metal sign on a white background, vector illustration

Well, slap me frickin’ upside down and call me a fruit bat…!!! I mean, how much can a fuckin’ Koala bear right???

With all the fussin’ and frothing that’s been going on I’m surprised we haven’t all quit and retired to open beach front bars in the Cayman’s…!!!

 

OKAY, OKAY… It’s THOR’S DAY, let’s make some fuckin’ noise…!!!


HAH..!!! Yes… that’s just the way to start…

So, what’s an amazing wtf? thing that’s happened this week…? Ahhh… yes…

Didja all see the grand opening of our latest Vampire group on Facebook? It came across our screens and declared that;

“Only rule: Must be at least 18 (age must be publicly displayed) & posts must be vampire, metaphysical, occult, vampire community related or at least loosely related to something along the same lines, other than that, there are NO rules. Say what you want, when you want, to who you want, but respect is expected. Since we do, of course, want some sort of civility here, no derogatory behavior will be tolerated. That is up to and including badgering anyone for an answer if they’ve declined to comment.”

“Say WHAT you want, WHEN you want, to WHO you want but RESPECT is expected”

Swear by ALL the Gods, I laughed so hard I nearly got a hernia…!!! Talk about askin’ for trouble. Well, happy to report that it held up for around a day and then became;


Any and all are welcome. Otherkin, vampyre, witch, curious, metaphysical practitioner etc. provided they follow the rules.

1. To join the group, please answer the required questions. Your membership will not be considered without these responses.

2. Rules MUST be agreed upon after joining, see “pinned post”.

3. 18+ only

4. Post an introduction upon joining.

5. Respect! Productive conversation and respectful/cordial debate only. Zero tolerance for abuse and/or disrespect. Do not challenge or instigate hate with name-calling.  Respect NightSide identities.  Intolerance will get you booted.

6. Keep photo reposts to a minimum or at least make sure it’s relevant to topics of discussion.

7. No deletion of posts or comments or disabling commenting unless done by or approved by a Moderator/Admin.

8. No blocking of Admins or mods. If they were previously blocked before you joined, I will not require anyone to unblock an admin or mod.

9. Please keep posts vampire, occult, otherkin or metaphysical related or at least a fairly good correlation and explain.

10. No screenshots are to be taken and posted elsewhere or shared with anyone. This is an automatic boot should they be found and/or reported to an admin or mod and said person reporting provides solid proof.

AGAIN, Thank the Gods, we have another sensible, respectful, focus oriented Vampire group. It’ll be interesting to watch what comes out of the initial outrageous sales hook…!!!

Universal Vampire & Otherkin Commune (U.V.O.C.)

Might be safe to take a peek now… ummm, are hippies welcome too???

MORRRRRRRRRRE NOISE…!!!


 

Hahahahahahahahahaha… okay – let’s see what the Lady of The Research has for us today…

Ohhh, I say, we’re orf across the pond, jolly old London town… Tally Ho…!!!

img. source: Yesterday’s Shadow

Yesterday’s Shadow – The Resurrection

Saturday, August 18 at 8 PM – 2 AM UTC+01

at The Victoria

Info courtesy of

London Vampire Magazine

 

What else, what else indeed…

img. source: Black Rose Events

“The Black Rose Ball returns on the first weekend in September with the theme of ‘Wasteland’.

Featuring a great line up of bands on Friday 31 August 2018 – They Called Him Zone, Red Sun Revival and Bad Pollyanna – at the The Fulford Arms.

Saturday 1 September 2018 will feature the Black Rose Bazaar gothic market (with traders of gorgeous gothic creations) and café during the day at the De Grey Rooms. Followed by the jewel of the weekend, the Black Rose Masquerade Ball in the evening.

There will be a cemetery tour around York’s Victorian cemetery Friends of York Cemetery on Sunday 2 September 2018, exclusive to weekend ticket holders.

All profits are donated to The Sophie Lancaster Foundation. For full information check out our event pages or www.blackroseball.co.uk

Just £33 for a weekend ticket! (£15 concert only, £19.50 ball only).”

 

Img. source:
http://gothic.life/

 

 I have a confession to make… Lady M doesn’t really get overjoyed about taking me shopping, see, I’m a bit of a Jackdaw and I get easily distracted by shiny things… always darting off in different directions and so forth so when this next item popped up… Oh Em Gee…!!!

 

img. source: VVSUK The Shop

The sky darkens

Bats flit

The moon floods the landscape

A captivating dramatic necklace

“Hand crafted alchemic red enamel pewter necklace surrounded by bats

Necklace sits upon a a 21″ (53cm) nickel free trace chain with fastener

Weight & Dimensions (approx.): H: 58mm (2.28″) W: 50mm (1.97″) D: 10mm (0.39″) Weight 30g (1.06oz)”

VVSUK at Etsy

 

…and speaking of shiny things, here are some of mine, another guilty secret, I am a collector…

img. source: Tim

Alrighty…
TOP: A Pakistan produced “King Cobra Bowie” style bush knife, or machete. Blade folds into handle and the guard swivels to lie along body, wooden handled, brass fittings, stainless steel blade.

LEFT: A Bear MGC Gut-Hook Blade knife from Bear Cutlery in Alabama.
CENTER: A custom made “Damascus” blade hunting knife by Shaka JGW in South Africa
RIGHT: Carl Schleiper Trophy Hunter series Skinning/Hunting Knife. After much research I believe this particular knife is a somewhat older model that may have been produced at Schleiper’s Solingen Works in Germany.

Yes, people smirk at me and say, “Why would you bring a knife to a gunfight?”
I smirk back and say, “Fella holdin’ the gun’s gotta see or hear me coming…!”

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY…. MORE NOIZE…!!!

 

Who said rock and roll was dead???

 

Oh, yeah, I’ve decided to start a new project… got someone helping me…
The project is THE VAMBAN DICTIONARY. Yes, that’s right, our very own cultural “Urban” dictionary…!!!

We have the first four entries…!!!

Vamsqueek
(Noun.) An annoying little modern Vampire who just keeps going on, and on, and on about nothing except b.s. and eventually pisses EVERYONE off.

Batifying

(Verb.) When a poser paints their face white, throws on a cape, chucks in some plastic fangs and waltzes around like they own the culture.

Wynegut

(Noun.) A modern Vampire who has so many medical problems they should be dead and buried.

Vampsickel

(Noun.) A female modern Vampire with a permanently resting bitch-face.

Yah, Yah… tasteless, crass, outta line… have you read some of the other crap that’s getting made up out there…???

MORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE FUCKING NOIZZZZZZZZE…!!! In YOUR honour dear reader…!!!


 

Well… how’s that for a noisy THOR’S-Day??? Ahhh, hold on, one more thing,

According to a VERY recent poll the top MOST ANNOYING trait exhibited in the modern Vampire culture is…

****** Drumroll ******

Narcissism/Grandiosity


I would go so far as to suggest that to get anyplace in this modern cultural free-for-all one need have a certain measure of both of those to make any difference, no?

Which begs a question…

img. source: The Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition

And with that, dear reader, I’m going to throw all the drapes aside and…

Bwaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…!!!

Copyright RVL 2018, unless otherwise noted.

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

 

 

Over the hump…

img. source: Wallpaper Abyss/ Alpha Coders

Created, Written, Edited, Trashed & Presented by

Tim

HEY…!!! Whoa…!!! Can you believe it’s gone past “Hump Day” again… seems like we’ll be getting ready for Christmas 2018 if we don’t watch out. Speaking of which, our neck of the woods, over the last few days, we’ve gone from somewhere around 48 to 88 on the OMG… is that heat? index…and now we’ve got thundery showers and 80% humidity… HELL-OHHHH, what happened to “time to acclimatise?”

But hey, “–it happens yeah?”, like th’ man said…

Samuel L. Jackson as Mitch Henessey in “The Long Kiss Goodnight”, 1996.
Forge & New Line Cinema
in assoc. with The Steve Tisch Company.

Yeah, so, I was thinking the other week, while I was writing up a l’il something for Lady Sylvere’s Grumpy Vamp’s Guide to the GVC, wouldn’t it be a hoot if we painted a target on our back and invited people to throw questions at us? Yep, probably the craziest idea in a long line of crazy ideas by Moi…

I figured that with around 4,000 site visits last month, over 1200 Twitterers following us and visits to our Facebook portal there must be some folks out there who have questions about what we do, how we do it and, more importantly, why. So, I’m going to preempt the first, most obvious question that people would probably throw at me, as the Editor-in-Chief, and it comes from Seymour Butz in Soggy Bottom Holler, Seymour would like to know…

img. source: Redneck Romance Writer on WordPress

Welllll… for the answer to that we’d have to go back to the early sixties in working class England…

So, with that one out of the way I would like to invite 10 people, first come first served, to send us answers to these…

  • If you could ask the Editor-in-Chief 1 question what would it be? (Be as forthcoming, straight shooting, intelligent, mildly obstreperous even lightly (intelligently) confrontational if you like)

and, tell us, if you would be so kind, What do you think of RVL E-Zine overall?

Send your entries to our email at giltine51@gmail.com,
send me a Facebook PM (it’ll go to my ‘Other’ folder) at https://www.facebook.com/CaptainNorthstar or,
alternatively, send a message through our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/RealVampireLife/

img. source: pnd.typepad.com

 

So, apart from crazy, where are we going today? Been thinking just lately, about history and about origins and about where things come from and I’ve decided we’re gonna have a bit of a time warp… NO, not more of the sublime “Rocky Horror Picture Show”, go to your movie channel or rent the DVD… but, ummm, a bit of this…

Yup, going to throw a bit of Australiana at you today…

What’s news this last week… or so…

Well, one thing we have to report is that technical difficulties will prevent us from bringing you the second part of an interview we ran at the end of March, “Interview with The Goddess” – things change and “–it happens” yah?

However, in some sparkly good news we have become entangled with a new organisation in our very own, beloved, “Windy” City – now, I gotta explain something here… it’s a question that comes up frequently… The “Windy” City, Chicago, has nothing to do with those howling Canadian Nor-Westers that we get, it’s the politics, the politics in Illinois are definitely blow-hard… in fact, I was watching the last Governor Election debate on television, for about 1.5 minutes and the three candidates were yelling over each other simultaneously while the debate master was yelling for order and “one at a time please”… couldn’t make out a darn word…!!! Sooooo glad I don’t have to vote for one of the apes…

Hmmmm… reminds me of some other folks I know…

Alright, I digress, sorry…

img. courtesy of: The Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition

The Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition has opened it’s doors. Yes – RVL is fully and wholeheartedly supporting the Coalition, yes – the inaugural meeting of the founding members (charter members) was held remotely this past weekend. Yes, they have a website/group which is growing rapidly, even as we speak. I’m not going to let any cats out of bags except to say that we have put forward an invitation to the organisation to give us the lowdown on what’s goin’ down in Windy Town…

…anybody from Australia can tell you about this fella, and the band Cold Chisel… iconic in Australia, always find a song or two played at weddings, it’s mandatory at parties and pretty much mandatory that every red-blooded Aussie knows ALL the lyrics – and if you ever saw him live (raises hand – multiple times) you would really know what ‘goose bumps’ are… seriously…!!!

Incidentally, the guitarist in the blue shirt is Jimmy’s brother in law who goes by the stage name “Diesel”… so, if ya go see Jimmy you actually get two for the price of one…

img. source: Map Collection – WordPress.com

Back in the day… what a curious phrase, don’t you think? Well, back in someday past we used to hang out at the Uni Bars, and in the early part of their career these guys were regularly on the rounds…

Now, I got an invite and picked up on a developing trend this last week… anybody heard about Discord?

I got invited to a “channel” and I thought I’d take a peek. In essence the ‘Discord’ is similar to the older IRC Channels, it provides real-time online chat and from what I can see was primarily designed for gamers to natter back and forth while playing computer games… a social hub, so to speak. Like all things these days, however, it is readily adaptable to all sorts of fun shenanigans.

Privacy looks good, you have the capability of choosing who you want to be connected to, you can make a “friend list” if you want, you can upload links to favourite stuff and all the usual. The only drawback that I can see at this present time is “time zones” and schedules… trying to get to be there when your peeps are is somewhat problematic but no more so than any other place and you can leave messages for folks anyway.

Like I said, it looks fun and can be adapted to be useful in a variety of ways and its biggest hook? It’s free.

img. source: adapted from Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket”
R.I.P. R. Lee Ermey

Here’s another song that you may have heard from the “old country”…

Some of you might even empathise with the lyrical content…!!!

…and with that I’m going to wander off and think up some more crazy stuff… coz that’s one of the things I do ’round here… much to Lady M’s frustration sometimes I think…

img. source: domica.info

 

Leaving ya with this one… when folks think of Australia they think of Koala’s (They’re not bears btw, they’re marsupials) Possums and Kangaroos… oh, and Great White Sharks… but they also think of beaches and surfing an’ stuff…

Back from 1978… it’s Radio Birdman…

img. source: Radio Birdman/ YouTube

Aloha Steve and Danno

 

ALOHA dudes and dudettes…!!!

Copyright T & RVL (unless otherwise noted) 2018

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer