Over the hump…

img. source: Wallpaper Abyss/ Alpha Coders

Created, Written, Edited, Trashed & Presented by

Tim

HEY…!!! Whoa…!!! Can you believe it’s gone past “Hump Day” again… seems like we’ll be getting ready for Christmas 2018 if we don’t watch out. Speaking of which, our neck of the woods, over the last few days, we’ve gone from somewhere around 48 to 88 on the OMG… is that heat? index…and now we’ve got thundery showers and 80% humidity… HELL-OHHHH, what happened to “time to acclimatise?”

But hey, “–it happens yeah?”, like th’ man said…

Samuel L. Jackson as Mitch Henessey in “The Long Kiss Goodnight”, 1996.
Forge & New Line Cinema
in assoc. with The Steve Tisch Company.

Yeah, so, I was thinking the other week, while I was writing up a l’il something for Lady Sylvere’s Grumpy Vamp’s Guide to the GVC, wouldn’t it be a hoot if we painted a target on our back and invited people to throw questions at us? Yep, probably the craziest idea in a long line of crazy ideas by Moi…

I figured that with around 4,000 site visits last month, over 1200 Twitterers following us and visits to our Facebook portal there must be some folks out there who have questions about what we do, how we do it and, more importantly, why. So, I’m going to preempt the first, most obvious question that people would probably throw at me, as the Editor-in-Chief, and it comes from Seymour Butz in Soggy Bottom Holler, Seymour would like to know…

img. source: Redneck Romance Writer on WordPress

Welllll… for the answer to that we’d have to go back to the early sixties in working class England…

So, with that one out of the way I would like to invite 10 people, first come first served, to send us answers to these…

  • If you could ask the Editor-in-Chief 1 question what would it be? (Be as forthcoming, straight shooting, intelligent, mildly obstreperous even lightly (intelligently) confrontational if you like)

and, tell us, if you would be so kind, What do you think of RVL E-Zine overall?

Send your entries to our email at giltine51@gmail.com,
send me a Facebook PM (it’ll go to my ‘Other’ folder) at https://www.facebook.com/CaptainNorthstar or,
alternatively, send a message through our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/RealVampireLife/

img. source: pnd.typepad.com

 

So, apart from crazy, where are we going today? Been thinking just lately, about history and about origins and about where things come from and I’ve decided we’re gonna have a bit of a time warp… NO, not more of the sublime “Rocky Horror Picture Show”, go to your movie channel or rent the DVD… but, ummm, a bit of this…

Yup, going to throw a bit of Australiana at you today…

What’s news this last week… or so…

Well, one thing we have to report is that technical difficulties will prevent us from bringing you the second part of an interview we ran at the end of March, “Interview with The Goddess” – things change and “–it happens” yah?

However, in some sparkly good news we have become entangled with a new organisation in our very own, beloved, “Windy” City – now, I gotta explain something here… it’s a question that comes up frequently… The “Windy” City, Chicago, has nothing to do with those howling Canadian Nor-Westers that we get, it’s the politics, the politics in Illinois are definitely blow-hard… in fact, I was watching the last Governor Election debate on television, for about 1.5 minutes and the three candidates were yelling over each other simultaneously while the debate master was yelling for order and “one at a time please”… couldn’t make out a darn word…!!! Sooooo glad I don’t have to vote for one of the apes…

Hmmmm… reminds me of some other folks I know…

Alright, I digress, sorry…

img. courtesy of: The Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition

The Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition has opened it’s doors. Yes – RVL is fully and wholeheartedly supporting the Coalition, yes – the inaugural meeting of the founding members (charter members) was held remotely this past weekend. Yes, they have a website/group which is growing rapidly, even as we speak. I’m not going to let any cats out of bags except to say that we have put forward an invitation to the organisation to give us the lowdown on what’s goin’ down in Windy Town…

…anybody from Australia can tell you about this fella, and the band Cold Chisel… iconic in Australia, always find a song or two played at weddings, it’s mandatory at parties and pretty much mandatory that every red-blooded Aussie knows ALL the lyrics – and if you ever saw him live (raises hand – multiple times) you would really know what ‘goose bumps’ are… seriously…!!!

Incidentally, the guitarist in the blue shirt is Jimmy’s brother in law who goes by the stage name “Diesel”… so, if ya go see Jimmy you actually get two for the price of one…

img. source: Map Collection – WordPress.com

Back in the day… what a curious phrase, don’t you think? Well, back in someday past we used to hang out at the Uni Bars, and in the early part of their career these guys were regularly on the rounds…

Now, I got an invite and picked up on a developing trend this last week… anybody heard about Discord?

I got invited to a “channel” and I thought I’d take a peek. In essence the ‘Discord’ is similar to the older IRC Channels, it provides real-time online chat and from what I can see was primarily designed for gamers to natter back and forth while playing computer games… a social hub, so to speak. Like all things these days, however, it is readily adaptable to all sorts of fun shenanigans.

Privacy looks good, you have the capability of choosing who you want to be connected to, you can make a “friend list” if you want, you can upload links to favourite stuff and all the usual. The only drawback that I can see at this present time is “time zones” and schedules… trying to get to be there when your peeps are is somewhat problematic but no more so than any other place and you can leave messages for folks anyway.

Like I said, it looks fun and can be adapted to be useful in a variety of ways and its biggest hook? It’s free.

img. source: adapted from Stanley Kubrick’s “Full Metal Jacket”
R.I.P. R. Lee Ermey

Here’s another song that you may have heard from the “old country”…

Some of you might even empathise with the lyrical content…!!!

…and with that I’m going to wander off and think up some more crazy stuff… coz that’s one of the things I do ’round here… much to Lady M’s frustration sometimes I think…

img. source: domica.info

 

Leaving ya with this one… when folks think of Australia they think of Koala’s (They’re not bears btw, they’re marsupials) Possums and Kangaroos… oh, and Great White Sharks… but they also think of beaches and surfing an’ stuff…

Back from 1978… it’s Radio Birdman…

img. source: Radio Birdman/ YouTube

Aloha Steve and Danno

 

ALOHA dudes and dudettes…!!!

Copyright T & RVL (unless otherwise noted) 2018

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

The “I don’t know what to call this lot…” page

img. source: Thirteen.org

Presented by

Tim

BOO back..!!!

Hey Vampkind, well, what a heck of a week last week… thanks to everyone who dropped in for a looksee, had a crazy top numbers day last week… glad you approve.

Just a couple of things to share today, start of the working week and all that, let’s keep it in a smooth groove eh?

Newsflash: Our esteemed colleague, Mr. Dave Wolff of the fabulous AEA Zine is looking for a couple of folks who can write good and who like music. He needs a couple of folks to review music for the AEA. If you’re interested drop us a line at giltine51@gmail.com and we’ll hook you guys up.

A VERY BIG THANK YOU to all the folks who helped me out with a little project last week… I won’t embarrass y’all, you know who you are. Bless ya little cotton socks one and all. Here’s one for us…

 

Got a message from someone that asked me why we don’t have stuff for other sections of the wider and other cultures… I gently explained that we have enough trouble keeping up with thousands of crazy Vampires but I did take note and this one’s for them and also a big shout out to Reaper and The Zanval… luv you guys…

img. source: ScienceAlert

 

Coming up in the interview rounds:

We are still hopeful of bringing you the interview, that we have been advised will be ASAP, we were granted with the newly established Vampire Court of Chicago – this one’s close to our heart of course. (Please note this is not a Court associated with the “Unity Project”

An interview with the Author of “Arcane Ramblings of a Teenage Vampire” is in progress and half done. We’ll have that for you soon barring fire, flood, earthquake or man-made disaster…

Don’t miss the second part of our interview with Goddess Rosemary Sahjaza as we continue to put to rest some of the rumours, guesswork, half-truths, misconceptions and other assorted comments that have been flying about lately.

Yeah, ooh… and speaking about other members of the wider overall community…
SWANS, our dear Swans – Black, White, any shade in between… without y’all we’d be a pretty sad bunch of Vamps. Blessings.

Ain’t that some cool-crazy groove??? One for the Ska-ists

img. source: Wikimedia Commons

WHOA, dude… could this be…

Mwaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha….!!!

img. source: Baltana.com

Gotta leave you with a little more from the Vampire Beach Babes… can’t get enough of this outfit…

 

Copyright TB & RVL, 2018 (except where noted)

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

Breaking News – A flamin’ good flipper & A new dance in Chicago?

Photo of Chicago at night (2012) by velgos.com

Researched, edited and presented by 

Tim

Good evening my Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen,

In strange but true news this week…

img. source: www.mirror.co.uk

A burger-flipping robot has completed its first shift at major fast food chain – turning a massive 300 patties an hour. ‘Flippy’, the robotic arm device was bolted to the kitchen floor and tasked with flipping burgers at super-speed.

The mechanic kitchen assistant, dressed in its own chef uniform, worked alongside staff at American burger chain, CaliBurger, in the company’s California branch.

But while the technology has only been tested in one location, Flippy could soon be turning burgers in the UK as CaliBurger plans to open a London branch.

Unlike its kitchen colleagues, Flippy can work tirelessly for hours on end grilling the perfect burger to order before alerting its co-workers when to add cheese to the meat.”

I know, amazing things everywhere yeah???

In our next snippet, especially those of you whom reside in and around dear old Chicago town.

Breaking news for you all… WE have a new KING…!

or Queen, or ummm Tzar, Regent? Emperor? Hmmm not entirely sure yet, we’ll get back to you on that…anyway…

Coming online, or becoming “public” yesterday, as near as we can tell, there is now a Vampire Court of Chicago. Yes, that’s right… we are all under the benevolent and munificent grace of… ummm… of… hold on a minute…

Oh, sorry, can’t see who’s in there…

Okay, yeah, Loren Vargo (a.k.a. Mix Tabal Bouda-Lycaon, a.k.a. Johnathan Michael Butkovsky) formerly of Austin/Houston, created the page and has graced us with the new LAWS ruling ALL Vampires in Chicago in their new “sort of democratic” organisation…

Better take a look so I don’t screw up methinks,

“The VCC, despite certain terminology used, is mostly democratic. Every Vampire in this city has a voice and a time and place for that voice to be heard. We have a Council that will deliberate in order to ensure the will of our people and keep our relationships strong. Our bonds are deep, our trust is always earned, and our motivations are always clear. We promote being open, being free, sharing community, understanding, family and the support of our home. Chicago as a whole is our priority, we are not introverted and we wish to see good things happen for everyone in this city.

 The VCC works as a whole out in the open to do good for the community with such acts as charity and volunteer work.

Tenants of the Court

  1. The Vampire Court is a place for all of Chicago’s Vampires.
  2. The Vampire Court is to protect all of Chicago’s Vampires.
  3. The Vampire Court will govern the Vampire law for all of Chicago’s Vampires.
  4. The Vampire Court is to be both fair and firm.
  5. The Vampire Court is not to be disrupted with mundane affairs.
  6. The Vampire Court is to be treated with respect.
  7. The Vampire Court’s Council is charged with maintaining order.
  8. The Vampire Court’s Council members are to be show the proper respect of their offices.
  9. The Vampire Court is to be democratic.
  10. The Vampire Court shall never die.

 

The Chicago Law

  1. It shall ever be the Vampires of Chicago that decide their own fate.
  2. There shall be no rivalry with any person or group based on race, religion, bloodline or matters of sex.
  3. Feeding without consent, unless feeding from ambient energy, is strictly prohibited.
  4. No Vampire is to use any personal ability, physical or metaphysical to attack another member of the court.
  5. All Vampires within the court are expected to follow human law without exception.
  6. No Vampire is to share information of anyone’s Vampiric nature to a mundane without consent. That which has been made open knowledge is not restricted.
  7. Vampire progeny must be approved through the Vampire Council if the childe has not awakened themselves. Turning is forbidden until approval is gained.
  8. Any assault against any council member will be treated as an act of treason until the Court convenes to pass judgment.
  9. The Vampire Council will adjudicate all issues presented unless a vote is called for.
  10. The Vampire Council must always rule objectively. If one can not they may be asked to step down for the issue in question.
  11. The Chain of Command is always to be upheld and respected.
  12. Those found guilty of treason are to be excommunicated from the court.
  13. In a vote a majority Vampire ruling will always decide.
  14. Non-Vampires are welcomed, but they must be sponsored by a Vampire. Vampires must takes full responsibility for those they sponsor.
  15. Non-Vampire votes will be counted as usual unless otherwise protested for interfering with the will of the Vampire majority.
  16. Non-Vampires are to be treated as guests and shown respect.
  17. Non-Vampires are to show proper respect as guests.
  18. Any court member may call for a vote at any time.
  19. Votes must grounded for a month until they can be voted on again.
  20. All Vampires within the territories of Chicago are subject to this court’s laws and rulings.
  21. All Vampires within the Chicago territories are expected to make formal introductions to the court through contact with a council member.
  22. All Chicago Vampires traveling to another territory are expected to make proper introductions to those who rule in that territory with the exception of free states.
  23. All Chicago Vampires are expected to abide the laws of any territory they visit unless that law places someone in harms way.
  24. Enemies of the court are not to be received. Those proven traitors, those whom have been excommunicated, or those that wish us harm shall be cast out. We shall not acknowledge them in any way, they will become as ghosts without voices.”

Copyright VCC 2018

Well, it’s nice to know we’re being cared for and guided by a “sort of” Democracy now – sorry, must have missed the election/vote.

I was always under the impression that to be ruled over one had to give their consent and/or swear fealty to the monarch. All I can say is that there a lot of Vampires in and around Chicago who are on the fence, the fence between laughing hysterically and being furiously angry.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what develops here won’t we?

Oh, and just a note, I don’t think this “Court” is part of any other movement, project or organisation… seems to be a solo declaration of takeover.

Gotta love the sigil too, a single red star… oh, wait a minute, don’t the Chinese Communist party have dibs on that one?

Don’t worry everyone, we’ll keep watch over this startling new development and we will try and get a few words from… somebody in the organisation as soon as we figure out who they are…

 

How many of you guys and gals out there were…

 

…and a big shout out to all the folks in the Big Apple…

 

Copyright TB (unless otherwise noted) 2018

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer