Welllllllllllllll it’s Sat’dy night….

Chainsawed, Mashed Up, Slapped aroun’ th’ place,
Sprayed in ya face like a fuckin’ can uv mace…!!!
by

Tim

 

Well, slap me upside a tree and call me a Flying Fox me little mammal friends… how the feathery, flappin’ fuck are ya?

Saturday again, already, how the time flies by when you’re having fun eh?

We got a message at our Facebook portal this week, a question actually, “How to become a Vampire?”… goes right up there with, “Can u make me Vampire?”, “Tell me how to become Vampire?”, “Make me Vampire… I give you – blood/money/my sister” et fucking al…!!!

We need every fucking sane modern living Vampire to take to their websites, FaceBook, Blog, Website… whatever and post the message very clearly in very large colourful letters. “YOU CAN’T BE MADE INTO A VAMPIRE – EITHER YOU ARE ONE OR YOU ARE NOT AND NO AMOUNT OF WISHING WILL MAKE IT ANY OTHER WAY”

Despite assertions that people do take on “Vampiric Characteristics” when in long term, close personal relationships with real Vampires these traces go away once the relationship is ended.

MAKING YOURSELF DIE WHILE SAYING “MAGIC” WORDS WILL NOT MAKE YOU TURN INTO A VAMPIRE…! – Yes, really, we have really had people offer to commit suicide if we will give them the power to become Vampires afterwards… NOTE: ALL YOU WILL BE IS DEAD…!!!

‘Nuff said… AGAIN*sigh* – and no, that wasn’t the Weekly Biatch either

Heyyyyyy… something real interesting’s been floating around for a while now, apparently, and, in the way of all things VC, it eventually hit the fan… and splattered…

The Med-Sang Menace

Hmmmm, never really considered them a menace… just thought they were in a philosophically superior place to everybody else is all… Well, take a look at Lady Sylvere’s Grumpy Vamp and read up, if you haven’t already.

Apparently one of the authors has come forward and apologised for their part in creating the document in question… do people need to apologise for expressing themselves in the United States?

As Lady Sylvere commented, “Oops. My hand slipped. 😂”… hmmmmm

Img. source: UC Santa Cruz Police Department

Jus’ sayin…!

annnnnnnnnnd that, quite naturally, means we need to get it on and make sum fucking noize kids…!


 

Chicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagooooooooooooooooooooh…!!!

 

Img. Source: Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition

The Greater Chicago Vampire Coalition is gathering steam, the new initiative to bring Chicago Nightkind together, incorporating VTOC (Vampires, Therians and Otherkin Chicago), Chicago Vampires and Chicago Vampires Meetup (CVM) are developing local programs to bring the kin together in the windy city. Continuing and expanding a tradition of monthly live meet-ups the Coalition is reaching out to all Chicago kin. The GCVC also reaches out to neighbouring states to provide networking opportunities between groups in the Midwest U.S.

To all our readers and visitors, if you haven’t already, please drop by the GCVC and let them know you approve of/ support their efforts would ya….

 

Alrighty then, and with that image firmly fixed in our minds let’s see what’s going on around the place… Thanks, naturally and always, to Our Serene Lady of The Facebook, Lady M…

Harpoon Hanna’s
39064 HARPOON ROAD | FENWICK ISLAND, DE 19944

 

The Austin “World Dracula Day” Pageant

The VCA comes together with The Glass Coffin to celebrate the ol’ boy’s birthday with a pageant…

What? Whaddaya mean he can’t have a birthday…? ‘Course he’s fucking real… Renfield told me…

Tom Waits as R,M, Renfield in Francis Ford Coppola’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” (1992)
American Zoetrope
Columbia Pictures Corp. &
Osiris Films

MISTER RENFIELD KNOWS THE TRUTH…!!!

MORE GODDAMN NOIZE…

annnnnnnd morrrrrrre…!!!

Whaoh, yeah, hah… WOOT…!!!

BritHulk by T.

Awright, awright… back on track Mister Damage…!!!


Ooooh, right, yeah, talking of balls…

Img. Source: Penelope’s Venue

 

Penelope’s Venue Vampires Ball

Public · Hosted by Penelope’s Venue

Saturday, October 27, 2018 at 7 PM EDT

12219 Dix Toledo Rd, Southgate, Michigan 48193

MICHIGAAAAAAAAAAAN COME ON DOWWWWWWN…!!!

 

What else we got then…???
Ooooooh, y’all gonna be fucking busy in good ol’ Michigan…

Img. Source: Third Eye Magic, Michigan

Celebrating Samhain
Public · Hosted by Third Eye Magic
12219 Dix Toledo Road, Southgate, Michigan 48195

Yup, ’tis almost ‘pon us… and remember, “An harm ye none, do as ye will.”

Now here’s something you don’t get every day…!!!

Now then,
I’ve been doing a bit of research… yeah, really… I’ve got something I want to share with you dear reader…

Did you know –

“Over half of people aged 16 and over in the UK (55.5%) were mostly or completely satisfied with their job in 2015 to 2016. While over the short-term this measure showed no overall change (55.8% in 2014 to 2015), there was a deterioration over the long-term (59.0% in 2010 to 2011).” Updated: 25 April 2018

and, in Australia,

Img. source: Curtin University, Western Australia (Best surf state…!!!)

Meanwhile, on this side of th’ pond…

(Provided by Forbes) we read, “10 Shocking Workplace Stats You Need To Know”… the list was compiled by David Sturt and Todd Nordstrom, researchers, consultants and authors inside the O.C. Tanner Institute.

Here are a few of their discoveries…

A recent study by CareerBuilder.com shows that a whopping 58 percent of managers said they didn’t receive any management training.
89 percent of bosses believe employees quit because they want more money. Only 12 percent of employees actually leave an organization for more.
A Harvard Business Review survey reveals 58 percent or people say they trust strangers more than their own boss.
Global studies reveal that 79 percent of people who quit their jobs cite ‘lack of appreciation’ as their reason for leaving. People don’t leave companies, they leave bosses.

More in-depth stats available at 
https://blog.accessperks.com/2018-employee-engagement-loyalty-statistics#2

“WHOA, whatup? M*****f*****s done lost his mind completely now… Why is this relevant? What does it have to do with Vampyres?” I hear you cry….

And that, my fine friends, leads us very nicely to…

THE WEEKLY BIATCH

Img. Source: simply-chateau

Job dissatisfaction… lemme ask the question, how many of you Vampyres work for a living, like me?

How many of you dislike, nay, even hate, your job? How many of you work long, hard hours for inadequate return and minimal benefits? How many of you get home at night and unload on your significant other (making them miserable in the process) before scoffing a television meal and downing six bears so you can pass out in front of the t.v. and take the pain away for a while… before the next gut churning, mind aching, numbing shift comes along to ruin your life again?

Ever thought there’s something wrong with that entire picture?

So, change it…!!!

 

Yeah, yeah, I know… you have a thousand and one good reasons… reasons? or excuses, to not rock the boat.

Let me entertain you with the tale of a wild colonial boy.

I arrived in the United States in late March of 2013. People told me it would take me a good 6 months to a year to find a decent job… I had one in four.

The first ever job interview I attended here was with an owner/manager who looked over my C.V. and made all sorts of “I’m impressed” noises before telling me it was very impressive but wasn’t worth shit here in the U.S., “We don’t recognise foreign qualifications in America” he said. I gathered my papers up, politely thanked him for his time, shook his hand and at the door I turned, flipped him the bird and said “Fuck you…!” – Nobody tells me what I can’t do – period.

Long and short of it I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do, it took me until June 11 this year to get there. Today I have a great job, I like getting out of bed in the morning to get into it, the pay is adequate, I have moderate health benefits sorted out and great people that I work with. Point is, you can too, if you have the balls to go for it…!!!

If you haven’t – STOP READING NOW.

The first thing you have to do is stop paying so much attention to booze and television, that won’t get ya nuthin’.

Second, get around, either to the local job centres or on the internet and see what’s out there for you to think about. So, you don’t have the qualifications for what you want to do – GET THEM…!!! Community colleges and adult education offer a huge range of options to suit just about everyone and there are Federal Programs to give you funds to study. If it’s not enough get a part-timer or Casual to carry you through while you study… y’know, wait tables, flip burgers… whatever.

NOBODY’S GOING TO WALK UP AND SERVE IT UP ON A SILVER PLATTER… You have to go out and get it.

There are no external reasons for your unhappiness… there are no reason’s why, with a little work and effort, and maybe a little sacrifice here and there, you can’t have what you want. I’ve always gone out and made things happen the way I want, sometimes it takes time, perseverance and ingenuity but then I don’t believe y’all are any less intelligent than I am eh?

‘Nuff said.

Like Jimmy says…

“All you need is work, tra lah lalalaaaaa, all you need is wor….” Wot? Love? Ohhhhhhh yeah, all you need is love right?

Yeeeeeeah… how coolio is that?

Well, guess it’s time for me to stfu now… what? Did I hear you agree? Well, here’s something just for you…

“The Hand That Wins” by T.

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahaha…!!!

Ta-rah me little Homunculi…!!!

Copyright T & RVL (except where noted) 2018

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

 

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,

“To talk of many things:

Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–

   Of cabbages–and kings–

And why the sea is boiling hot–

   And whether pigs have wings.”

“The Walrus and The Carpenter” ~ Lewis Carroll ~

Devilishly designed and developed, written and evilly edited by

Tim

Allo,,, back again, didja miss me? What? Why? Why am I back to disturb your digestion? Simple really…

Tell ’em Sidney…

“There were times,

I´m sure you knew

When there was but – but

Wot fuckall else to do,”

 

Good evening viewers,
I was planning to make this a black tie event but… I don’t have a black tie…
So, I thought I’d pop in and annoy the living fuck outta everyone again, share some music, share some thoughts, share some news from around the place, have a “weekly biatch” and make some purely personal deep and meaningful observations about shit that I have been privileged to see lately… sound fair? Good, well, off we go then…

Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha…!!! EPIC LEO…!!!

Tell me, do you sometimes sit in front of ye olde computer, or go to a “Vampyre Ball”, attend some other offline function connected with, or somehow influenced by the modern Vampire culture and find yourself thinking, “FUCK ME BACKWARDS… I’m actually EMBARRASSED to be associated with this culture”.? I guess it happens to all of us at one time or another… times when it makes about as much sense as buying lamb kidneys to make beef stroganoff…

What do you do when it happens to you?

 

Okayyyyyy, let’s just chill for a minute or two and see what my esteemed Research Director has for us this time… 

Oh yeah… NEW JERRRRRRRRR-SEY…!!! Are you reading, over?

September in
The Iron Garden

Get It On…!!!

Friday, Sept 28th – 9PM Sharp!

 

Not in NJ? Oh, that’s a shame… what about *drumroll*

AUS-TINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN, come on dowwwwwwwwn…!!!

 

“Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are … and join all the creatures of the night, while perusing the macabre wares of local artisan Vampires, Witches, Werewolves and other Supernatural Beings.”

A Seance will be hosted by “Austin Mediums” at 10pm in the Seance Room Inside The Glass Coffin.

Wooooooooh… spooky shit dudes and dudettes… if you never experienced a seance first hand, check it out yeah?

Image source: The Glass Coffin

Heyyyyy, wait one cotton pickin’ minute… weren’t these Talamasca peeps, like, not so good to the poor ol’ vamps in QotD??? 

Talamasca: The Dark Gifts Market

Public · Hosted by The Glass Coffin: Vampire Parlour

Saturday, October 13 at 6 PM – 11 PM

Ohhhhhh… I see…

…and one more juicy tid-bit for y’all;

“If you are in NOLA, don’t miss this. I had the honor of being able to read this book a few months ago …. if you are an avid Dracula fan you will love this prequel …”
~ Lady M ~

Tuesday, October 9 at 6 PM – 7:30 PM

Garden District Book Shop

2727 Prytania St, New Orleans, Louisiana 70130

Hosted by Garden District Book Shop

OI, lookit, I reckon the drummer looks just like Ozzie Osborne…!!!

Nyuk… nyuk… nyuk… sweet dreams kiddies…!!!

Alright, let’s check the fuckin’ noise for a minute… there’s something that really needs paying attention to – YET AGAIN. Now this week, we have a “Guest Biatch” – that’s right, a special guest ‘Biatch’…

Johnny Rotten (A.K.A. John Lydon)
Img. source: AllMusic



Yeah, a VERY fitting song for us today…

Posted on July 7, 2012… remember that do ya?
“Bigotry in a Marginalized Minority Community – Vampires and Human Rights”

A wonderful editorial by Lady Elzie Roze. Now some might think that, “Yes, we’ve developed beyond that now, we’re past all that stuff that was going on back then…!”

BULL-PISSING-SHIT…!!! No more than four days ago (9/9/18 to be precise) we were privileged to witness one of the most blatant cases of “bigotry” that has been perpetrated lately and it really leaves one wondering… “What, did we we just stumble onto the set of the latest Underworld movie???” 

Now there might be people out there, perhaps a very large number who think it’s okay to have an opinion… you’re right, it is okay to have an opinion BUT it is not fucking alright to ram that opinion in people’s faces in a public forum, hosted by someone else and be flagrantly dismissive and outright prejudiced to boot.

If you’re ready to do that shit you might as well go and put on a pair of big boots and start marching around yelling “RAHOWAR…!!!”there’s no fucking difference.

Prejudice, bigotry, racism, intolerance, self-superiority… all disgusting things that bring NO BENEFIT, make the person acting thus look like a prize dick and resolves absolutely nothing all while creating a lasting ill-will and impression that weakens the perpetrator’s position and cause for a long time.

NO ONE RESPECTS A BIGOT, end of story…!!!


So there… I said it…

Now, there is one more thing I’d like y’all to think about…

So, here’s what I think… next time you sit down to watch your favourite T.V. show, movie, or sit down at your computer set a kitchen timer for fifteen minutes and when it rings pause for a minute’s silence for the person that died while you were sitting there… 1 every 15 minutes.

Copyright T. 2018 (except where otherwise noted)

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

Happy… Happy… Ahhhh “What th’ Hell Day…”

Yep, that’s right, he’s baaaaaaack… tossed this one together, sort of did some research and then, like, threw everything together in a somewhat random order… more or less…

Oh, yeah, presented by…

T.

Yes, just decided to have a what th’ hell kinda day, and why not… I hope everyone’s cruisin’ along as well as can be expected, for many, chin up – tomorrow’s Friday…!

So, what’s first you ask… well, check this little beauty out…

Pair of elderly German men escape their nursing home to go to a heavy metal festival
YES… That’s right, they did it… they busted on outta there, they went on th’ lam, they made it to Waken Open Air Festival 2018… may all the Gods Bless these aged delinquents… just goes to show, old Metalheads NEVER DIE…!!!

Now that’s the fuckin’ way to kick off a what’s what night…!!!

Oh, yeah, Lady Kaia shared a l’il something with us the other day…
HAH…!!! Whoever put that together deserves a fuckin’ medal… maybe now we’ll get people to stop messaging us and asking us to help them become Vampires… (as if *sigh*)

 

Dr. Tomas Ganz, Professor of Medicine and Pathology at University of California Los Angeles, at his home in March 2014. Picture: Tomas Ganz.

Hey, here’s a one back from June, posted by Erin Chapman at Vamped.org,
it’s well worth a read…
All the Gory Details: Dr. Tomas Ganz Discusses Blood Drinking

Hahahahahahahahaha… more fucking NOIZE…

What a classy remix of a classy classic…!!!

Now then, let’s take a look at what my beautiful assistant, Lady M, has for us this week shall we…

Oooh, yeah, fuckin’ rock on… finally Illinois gets on th’ beat…!!!

img. source: The Darkness Underground

Masquerade d’Vampire

Saturday, October 13 at 8 PM – 2 AM

Oct 13 at 8 PM to Oct 14 at 2 AM

Venue: Blackbird Urbana

Hosted by The Darkness Underground

 

…and, another l’il tidbit to whet ya glands and make you secrete all over the fuckin’ place…

img. courtesy: Ian Eskelson

You NEED to get yo asses over to this site
and check out our new friend’s music…

If you don’t you deserve to be committed…!!!

CLICK HEAH…!!!

Don’t argue, just do it, right…

 

Hehehehe… dontcha just love it when I’m forceful…???

What else???

Ahhh… yeah… now, y’all know this dude, right? You’ve read stuff, seen movies, been told shit, right?

Img. source – www.thefirstvampire.com
Copyright John Davies

Well, okay, personally I read “The First Vampire” and I think, “Okay, where did he come from?” Yeah, seriously, like…okay, was there like a Vampire chicken that jus’ laid the mutha??? Did he get left out when he was a baby and a flock of Vampire Bats chewed on his l’il bare butt? Never mind, jus’ questions…

One of the things that is, fairly reliably, reported is that this crusty ol’ dude spent time at Poenari Castle… well, The First Vampire page has a video of a drone flight over the very place. It’s quite awesome, go check it out for yourself.

Img. source – http://www.ebay.com/

…and orf to Jolly old England again, wot ho…!!! Halloween happens there too you know…!!!

Red FX

Robbie Drake Special Make-Up, Fangs and FX

@RobbieDrakeSpecialMakeUpFangsAndFx

 

OKAAAAAAY… now for sum f’kin noizzzzzze for them as prefer to stay BLIND…!!!

Mwaaahahahahahahahahaha… Gotta love that Waken stuff…!!!

 

Alrighty… it’s time for…

img. source: istock

THE WEEKLY BIATCH

 

Novelist Tom Clancy said it…
“The control of information is something the elite always does, particularly in a despotic form of government. Information, knowledge, is power. If you can control information, you can control people.”

So, here we have this amazing, awe-inspiring, sprawling, global, almost instantaneous information system. On the many, many, many ends of it’s tendrils we have, within our culture, a large number of folks of whom others say… “Oh, you really need to get in contact with such-and-such, they know EVERYTHING about that…!!!”

Ohhhh… is that right… so… ummmm…where is this information? Locked in a cupboard in the cellar? Sealed in a airtight bag in the freezer guarded by automatic cannons and a pack of Rottweilers? Do they keep it all hardcopied and stored jealously away in some hidden self-store unit?
OR

Is it only shared with a certain “class” of associates? Is it kept within a small circle so that, “you can control people”, is this like the “1%” that everyone tells me owns and runs the United States?

Ever wondered where this information goes? Is used? Is circulated? Because I’ll tell ya one thing… seems like the great unwashed masses are seen as a…

YEP, HE FUCKIN’ WELL SAID THAT AND DON’T BE GETTIN’ ALL PISSY AND WHINY ABOUT HOW SO-AND-SO DID ALL THE WORK BLAH, BLAH, FUCKIN’ BLAH…!!!

YA WANNA SEE SOME ELITIST NARCISSISM??? SUCK ON THIS…

Well-ah, Well-ah, Well-ah… might as well finish off in the right frame…

Here’s one for some very fine people I have known in my life, amazing people who have a culture and spirit that dates back some 40,000 years or more, some people I have worked with, broken bread with, drank and danced with (Yep, I’ve been to a stompin’ ground) and I’ll tell ya what – some of the finest bruddahs ‘n’ sheilas I’ve ever known…

Go Warumpi…!!!

Copyright T, 2018 (except where otherwise noted)

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer