Well, well, well… ring-a-ding-ding baby…!!!

Featured

img. source: Web Design Library

Amalgamated, Decimated, Desiccated and Expounded by
Tim

So, how did everyone make it through Halloween? Okay? A little something for the headache afterwards perhaps…hmmmmm?

Well, guess that means…

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..!!!

We certainly hope your balls were spectacular…!!!

Now, they tell me that around about now I’m supposed to be gettin’ ready to eat turkey… gotta share a secret with ya – I don’t like them birds…!!!

There ya go… that’s the best it gets…

TIME TO MAKE SUM FUCKIN’ NOIZE…!

OI… gotta throw a reminder out there, there’s a gig comin’ up that it’d be well worth getting involved with…

Img. courtesy of Vampire Court of Dallas

Mike Burgess and our good friends at the VCD are holding a winter event and toy drive, even if you can’t make the event please think about donating to the toy drive. Contact the VCD for details of how to make ‘out of state’ donations. The Toy Drive benefits The New Beginnings Center of Garland.

 

The Vampire Court of Dallas presents:

KRAMPUS NACHT 2: WINTER’S RETURN

– A Holiday Toy Drive Benefiting The New Beginnings Center of Garland.

Sunday, December 9th. – Doors open: 9pm

Your Host: May May Graves

Featuring:

Wild Bill’s Ugly Sweater Party in the Video Bar and Joe Virus in the Main Room.

With performances by:

Dead Girl Circus, Arty Dodger, Toni Tabasco, Scarlette D’Vine

Also featuring:

*Vendors for Last Minute Christmas Shopping

*Fangs by Blacksmith Fangs (Houston)

*Krampus Costume Contest at the end of the night with prizes from Cat Dillon
and Dan Miga Designs

*Roving Performers by The Krampus Society

*And Much More!

Suggested Dress Code: Christmas Goth, German Folk, Christmas Horror, Krampus, Winter Horror, Traditional Goth

Admission: $10 over / $15 under 21 – $5 off with Church Dog Tags

Free Drink (1 per individual) with Donation of New/Unwrapped Toy!

Venue: The Church, 2424 Swiss Ave.

Info: thechurchdallas.com

Social Media: thechurchdallas

Info: vampirecourtofdallas.org

Social Media: thevampirecourtofdallas

GO ON, GET INVOLVED AND MAKE SOMEONE’S CHRISTMAS…

 

Which reminds me, yeh, right, like we had our first snow of the season in this neck of the woods last night… WooooHoooo…!!! It’s comin’ and I’m dreaming of a…

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA…!!!

That’s fuckin’ right kids, only 54 shopping days left starting tomorrow…!!! 

EAT THIS CHUCK…!!!


 

Ohhhhh yeah, you better believe I’m outta control, kicked the tires and lit the fires already like…!!!

So what better time to get to the most popular portion of our show… yup, you got it…

Img. source: Target

THE WEEKLY BIATCH…!!!

Right, yeh, so… you might have read the editorial I wrote entitled “So, you want to mentor the newly awakened?”… a lot of stuff in there about commitment from the mentor’s side of the fence, that was because I’d run across some stories of people who were not treated well, fairly or, in my ever-so-humble opinion, effectively by persons claiming to be “mentors”.

Well, that got me thinking y’know… commitment… y’know, that thing that you give away freely when you make a PROMISE to do something. Well, turns out that a lot of folks like jumping on “bandwagons” in our culture but when the “pushie” “shovey” bits come… yeh, melt away like first season’s snow flakes right? Probably every person in the culture who has ever had, run, formed, coordinated or administered a group in the VC, online or off, could probably treat you to a litany of “losses” when it comes to getting people to commit to anything… why is that?

Why do you think that it is so difficult, nay, damn near impossible to get people to commit themselves to any project, exercise or activity within the VC most of the time?

Do you think it’s because, with the exception of local, active and interactive groups, NOBODY REALLY GIVES A FLYING FUCK?

Go on. tell me you’ve NEVER gotten that feeling…

So, then, naturally, the next question becomes, “Why should I give a fuck?” You wouldn’t be… *snigger*… human if you didn’t entertain that thought and I suppose that, when you really get down to it it’s a case of the old, “If it doesn’t directly, materially, affect me and improve my life why should I give a shit?” syndrome.

The biggest question of all then becomes, “What the living fuck are we doing here at all?”

Jus’ sayin’…

More beer, more smoke, MORE FUCKIN’ NOIZE…!!!


 

….annnnnd a song here for my beautiful Vampwife Lady M…


…annnnnnd one for all the heartstringers out there… go on, grab your special significant other and get yer groove on…

Be good, stay well and safe and fed…!!!

Copyright T & RVL, 2018

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

J. Reason’s Real Vampire Life E-Zine 1st Annual Report

img. source: GraphicsFuel

Compiled, Written, Edited and Presented by

Tim
Editor in Chief – J. Reason’s RVL E-Zine

Good morning,
It is a very exciting point in the history of J. Reason’s Real Vampire Life E-Zine, for the first time in the history of the publication we are in a position to release an Annual Report. In dealing with the period beginning July – August of 2017 we have kept monthly records of statistics and circulation (Contained on a link tab at our home page) There is one month of data unavailable, being October – November last year because your chief Editorial staff were swanning it up, and swilling cold beer, in Australia on vacation…!!! (Sorry ’bout that… NOT…!!!)

In looking at the records over the previous 13 recording periods we can see that the most popular times seem to be between September and January, although this year the March – April month was especially busy as it has been this last month, July – August 2018..

One of our biggest milestones came on 7/26/18 when we passed the 250,000 visits mark at RVL.

Much of what happens at RVL, naturally, occurs around what we write and present and we are keenly aware of three things at all times, 1. Keep it real, 2. Keep it relevant and 3. Have some fun along the way.

img. source: VCH/ M. Vachmiel

In putting a good mix of these things together we believe that we create, and reinforce, a culture that creates interest among readers. Having a “little fun” or “a little light insanity” along the way keeps the audience from feeling they are trapped in a world of negativity and in this way we hope to be able to engender greater interest in the modern culture and send out a message that not everything has to be nasty, bitchy, back-biting and squabbling when Vampires come together, be it on or off line.

We have, as many are aware, gone through some rather intensive changes over the last twelve months and we have welcomed new Staff Members to the E-Zine, our deepest gratitude and thanks must, firstly, go to –

Lady Ronin Costa (Editor, Staff Writer and Foreign Correspondent in Italy)
Gordon Smith (Editor and Researcher) of the CLAVIS Research Group.
Dave Wolff (Editor and Rock God) C.E.O. and Editor in Chief of the Auteroticasphyxium E-Zine.
Lady Suzanne Carré (Editor and Science Advisor)
Lady Kaia Liivamägi (Editorial and Medical Pathology Consultant)

And, Lady Sylvere Ap Leanan (Assoc. Editor and Modern Living Vampire Community Consultant)

With these fabulous people on board we can continue to provide high quality reading and infotainment for our audience, an important… nay vital, part of any publication.

For myself, and speaking on behalf of J.Reason, we must also acknowledge the tireless, unending efforts, work, patience and research that goes on every single day of the week and which is under the watchful eye of Lady Marmoon Bey. Without her extraordinary work we would not be able to present that publication, nor have the Facebook portal site, that we enjoy.

Without reservation we express our deepest gratitude to all those whom have participated in editorials and interviews over the past year. It is, we believe, an excellent opportunity for people to connect, in a fashion, with many of the fascinating and intriguing people that are part of our Modern living Vampire Culture.

Of course, a huge thanks MUST go out to everyone who reads, follows and supports RVL around the world. Without those people we would have little purpose, direction or incentive.

(Img. source: bio.com)

Planned developments.

This is an area that has been under discussion over the last three months. We are working in with both WordPress and with our server host to determine the best way to increase our level of control, flexibility and versatility WITHOUT monetizing (yup, we ain’t in it for th’ money friends) the E-Zine and thereby having annoying ads permitted there.

Our main areas of expansion this last year has been in the arena of Historical information and presentation. With these things contained in our Vampire – History, Mythology and Folklore department we are always seeking to update, improve and expand on the information for all those interested in the Vampire Mythos as well as the real living Vampire life.

We are always considering new projects that will enhance the range and type of information available to our readers and, in that vein, we will be incorporating a new series of interviews that will focus on consultations of specific points of discussion to supplement our ‘general biographical’ interviews.

Img source: City of Columbus

J. Reason’s Real Vampire Life E-Zine annual figures 2017 – 2018

Site Visits Period              Total Visits         Avg. /Day        Twitter F’lwers     Countries

July – Aug 2017                     2891              103.25                 1102                    96

Aug – Sep 2017                     3413              121.89                 1111                    106

Sep – Oct 2017                      4048              144.57                 1141                    110

Oct – Nov 2017                     absent            absent                absent                absent

Nov – Dec 2017                     3850               137.5                  1184                    119

Dec 2017 – Jan 2018            3854               137.64                 1205                   123

Jan – Feb 2018                     3214               114.79                  1232                   124

Feb – Mar 2018                     3272               116.86                 1267                    127

Mar – Apr 2018                     4566                163.07                1279                    131

Apr – May 2018                    3196                 114.14                1309                    132

May – Jun 2018                    2835                 101.25                1333                    136

Jun – Jul 2018                      3175                 113.39                 1361                    141

Jul – Aug 2018                     4369                 156.04                 1352                    143

 

The top 5 editorials/interviews over the last year by number of views to the end of 8/25/18 were;

Title                                                                                     Views

Vampire Deities                                                                                                     3,989

Blood Substitutes Or “How to be a Healthy Happy Vampyre”                               1,123

A VAMPIRE’S GUIDE TO NEW ORLEANS ~ Steven P. Unger                               949

Dr. Death and a Vampyre Beauty                                                                             565

A new “world” order – reprised                                                                                 547

 

The top 5 Countries, by visitors, as at 8/25/18 were;

% of visits          Visits by location

1                              United States                    67.72%                  14,810

 

2                             United Kingdom                 4.55%                      996

 

3                              Germany                            3.47%                     758

 

4                              Canada                               2.96%                    648

 

5                              Australia                              2.28%                   499

 

Our top ten referrers by links, for the year to 8/25/18, were;

Search engine source                     # referrals

Facebook                                            3,769

WordPress Android App                        660

Twitter                                                    246

sanguinarius.org                                    103

theb9.com                                              103

nexus-noctis.net                                      72

vampirefragments.com                           58

feedspot.com                                          56

blog.feedspot.com                                  43

t.umblr.com                                             40

 

The top ten search terms used to reach RVL, as at 8/25/18, were;

amazon                                                              22

vampire gods                                                     11

https://realvampirenews.com/                            10

vespertine ball                                                     7

vampire god names                                            6

real vampire dentures                                         4

deities of vampirism                                            4

vampire language                                               4

vampire symbols                                                4

unity ankh mavenlore                                        4

Common vampire bat

In conclusion:
As can be seen, over the previous year, 2017 – 2018, we have experienced a real growth of 23.034% in total site visits compared over the twelve record periods.

The number of people following RVL on Twitter has increased by 22.686% and our Global reach has increased by 48.958%.

Amidst this we have always done our utmost to bring quality, accuracy and, above all, independent information, free of any group, organisation, House, Court or other such affiliations or influence to our audience. Indeed, there have been times when our people have been, or are, holders of memberships to other organisations but that is something which, like your coat at a fancy restaurant, is left at the door on the way in.

Copyright RVL, 2018

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

T.G.I. Frīge’s day

img. source: Marzec 2010, Pantheion

Thrown together for ya in a complete state of disarray but who really gives, right? Edited, roughly, Written, naturally and Perpetrated by
T.

Yep, yep, don’t worry, here it is…

img. source: Web Design Library

First things bloody first…

img. source: Food Republic

Yes, yes, oh yea… it’s Frīge’s day…
“In Germanic mythology, Frigg (/frɪɡ/;[1] Old Norse), Frija (Old High German), Frea (Langobardic), and Frige (Old English) is a goddess. In nearly all sources, she is described as the wife of the god Odin. In Old High German and Old Norse sources, she is also connected with the goddess Fulla. The English weekday name Friday (etymologically Old English “Frīge’s day”) bears her name.

Frigg is described as a goddess associated with foreknowledge and wisdom in Norse mythology, the northernmost branch of Germanic mythology and most extensively attested. Frigg is the wife of the major god Odin and dwells in the wetland halls of Fensalir, is famous for her foreknowledge, is associated with the goddesses Fulla, Lofn, Hlín, and Gná, and is ambiguously associated with the Earth, otherwise personified as an apparently separate entity Jörð (Old Norse “Earth”).” [2]

 

…and you thought it was because you’re supposed to eat fried Chicken and Fries today…!!!

So… anyway…
Ma Parker and her son Carr are putting together a gang and they have four prospective accomplices together in a warehouse. Ma looks at the first one and says, “Whadda they call you kid?”

He answers, “Sammy Nineteen” as he lays a gleaming Smith and Wesson Model 19 on a table.
She nods approvingly and looks at the next one, “Whadda they call you kid?”

He answers, “Carlo Remington ma’am” and he lays a gleaming Remington Model 870 pump action shotgun on the table.
She nods her approval and looks at the third, “Whadda they call you son?”

He answers, “Thompson Ms. Parker” as he lays out a hand engraved walnut stock Thompson submachine gun on the table.
Again she nods her approval and then turns her attention to the fourth punk, a skinny, sharp dressed African American, “Whadda they call you kid?”
“Arlo Forteen” he replies but doesn’t make a move.

“Well, Arlo Forteen, whadda ya packin’?”

Arlo smirks and pulls his weapon out and slaps it down on the table. Ma Parker fainted…

copyright T 2018

LET’S MAKE SOME FUCKIN’ NOIZE YEAH?


 

Well-ah, Well-ah, well-ah, and what’s going on that we can tell you about today… Thank you beautiful Assistant, let’s see what’s inside the golden envelope…!!!

Dallas – Rainbow in the Dark

img. source: Vampire Court of Dallas

SUNDAY, AUG 12

Rainbow in the Dark: Charity Event for Homeless LGBTQ Youth

Public · Hosted by Vampire Court of Dallas

EVEN IF YOU CAN’T GET THERE

THERE MIGHT BE OTHER WAYS YOU CAN HELP

…annnnnd come in jolly old London Town…

img. source: Yesterday’s Shadow, The Dastardly Dandy Demondaz and London Vampire Magazine

Yesterday’s Shadow – The Resurrection

Public · Hosted by London Vampire Magazine, The Dastardly Dandy Demondaz and Yesterday’s Shadow

Saturday, August 18 at 8 PM – 2 AM UTC+01 to Aug 19 at 2 AM UTC+01

At: The Victoria

 

Now, forgive me for being “provincial” but it occurs to me that with all these Vampire Balls and Events goin’ on there might be a mess of folks would be needin’….

img. source: Teeth by Dnash

Teeth by Dnash

straight outta Stratford, Connecticut

Yeah, and remember, only 89 days to Halloween…!!!

 

MORE DRINK, MORE SMOKE, MORE FUCKING NOIZE…!!!


BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHA….

Okay, Okay, Okay… got sumthin’ new for ya…

img. source: istock

THE WEEKLY BIATCH…!!!

Okay, here’s a scenario for ya…

A person is in an online group, said person is acting up a bit, making an ass of themselves and is gently told so, told that it might be in their best interests to calm down a bit.

Said person splits and makes own group, goes “member shopping” on everybody else’s “friends list” and drops them all in the new group, ZAP, Zero to 136 in a couple of hours…!!!

Next thing they are bleeding the original group they were in of material to fill up their own sad little effort…!!!

What’s a good name for a person like that? What about sycophantic little nut-sucking douche???

What’s that? “Don’t worry, it happens all the time.” Yeah, taxes and death happens all the time too and they ain’t pleasant things either…!!!

Obviously said Douche didn’t bother reading, “So, you want your own empire.”

Hey, amigo, break out the frickin’ Tequila…!!!

REMEMBER: RVL advocates responsible consumption of alcohol, DON”T DRINK AND DRIVE, RVL Warns that The United States Surgeon General has deemed smoking to be a health hazard.

Iz okay, you can have sex if you want… responsibly…!!!

Gonna get th’ FUCK outta here now and pour meself another one… until next time I remind you that if you do get caught remember the words to this song…

Copyright T & RVL 2018 (except where noted)

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer