Mirror, mirror on the wall…

‘Metamorphosis of Narcissus’
~ Salvador Dali

Written, edited and presented by 

Tim

Everyone, or nearly everyone, will have heard or read the tale of Narcissus and Echo from Greek mythology… essentially,

“Narcissus, in Greek mythology, the son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. He was distinguished for his beauty. According to Ovid’s Metamorphoses, Book III, Narcissus’s mother was told by the blind seer Tiresias that he would have a long life, provided he never recognized himself. However, his rejection of the love of the nymph Echo or (in an earlier version) of the young man Ameinias drew upon him the vengeance of the gods. He fell in love with his own reflection in the waters of a spring and pined away (or killed himself); the flower that bears his name sprang up where he died. The Greek traveler and geographer Pausanias, in Description of Greece, Book IX, said it was more likely that Narcissus, to console himself for the death of his beloved twin sister, his exact counterpart, sat gazing into the spring to recall her features.”[1]

As with many other tales of its kind there are different versions depending upon whom is doing the telling. It is a tragic tale to be sure but one that is not uncommon in its motif.

In modern parlance it gave us the word Narcissist, first recorded as being used somewhere between 1920 and 1930 it seems that it is a thoroughly contemporary word.

Narcissism, Narcissist and Narcissistic Personality Disorder are defined as;

Narcissism (noun [U])

Too much interest in and admiration for your own physical appearance and/or your own abilities

Narcissist (noun [C])

​Someone who has too much admiration for himself or herself

Narcissistic personality disorder (noun [C or U])  specialized.

​A personality disorder in which someone has too much admiration for himself or herself and too much concern with his or her own importance.

————————————————————

So, we make the transition from a tragic Greek myth to a modern reality that is as disturbing and destructive as anything else we face in modern society.

There is a splendid article available at Reach Out Recovery that deals with the 10 ways a narcissist takes control of people, it represents, in specific detail, the toxic effects a narcissist has on those around them and, more importantly, on the person they decide best suits their personal need or hunger.

It’s a word that is used frequently but not always in the proper context and it is important to define, and decide, when you are in the sphere of a true narcissist or just in the “fall out affected zone” of someone’s self-serving rhetoric.

Within our particular culture, as it is with all situations and social groupings in the world, we are exposed to some level of this toxicity every day that we are here, it’s no different than being exposed to it at school, in the workplace, in leisure activities or even, heavens forbid, in the home.

img. source: Freedom from Narcissistic and Emotional Abuse – Weebly

What can you do about it? Shield? Fight back? Run away? That’s a decision that each must make for themselves but one of the important things is that the most important thing in avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence.

Many of you will already, just in reading this, have had a name pop into your mind of someone you think is a narcissist… are they a real narcissist? Are they a common garden variety narcissist? Are they a dangerously enslaving type of narcissist? Are they suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder? They are difficult distinctions to make but the one thing that is certain, when you get hit by one you’ll know all about it.

Making yourself aware of the ways that a true narcissist works, the way they manipulate and manoeuvre is very important.

In 1930 Dion Fortune (a.k.a. Violet Mary Firth) published her seminal work “Psychic Self Defence”. This book came from her own experiences in her occult work. Fortune had witnessed various instances of “psychic attack” which she was called on to interrupt. Among the elements of a psychic attack, she noted, was “vampirism” that left the victim in a state of nervous exhaustion, and a wasting state. From this Fortune propounded an occult perspective on vampirism. She suggested that masters of the occult had the ability to separate their psychic self from their physical body and attach themselves to others and drain the host’s energy. Such persons would then begin to, unconsciously, drain the energy from those around them.

If you read this summary alongside the article on narcissism you will notice a great similarity between the two. That’s not to imply that ALL PsyVamps are narcissists – au contraire, I know some lovely non-narcissistic PsyVamps indeed… all I am suggesting is that perhaps there is some correlation between the two, some point where the two may overlap.

Img. source: Psych Central Professional

So, can narcissism lead to more serious things? Indeed it can…

For instance, in the article, “10 Ways Narcissists Take Control” (which actually comes under the heading of abuse) it is pointed out that narcissism can, and has, led to “Smearing and Stalking”, it describes how,

Toxic narcissists will slander you and report back to your loved ones, their loved ones, and anyone who will listen. They create stories that depict you as abusive and pretend they are the victims of your abuse.”

The author goes on to point out that,

A smear campaign sabotages your reputation and slanders your name so that you won’t have a support network to fall back on if you decide to detach and cut ties. A malignant narcissist may even stalk and harass you or the people you know as a way to “expose” the truth about you.

Either way you look at it rampant narcissism can lead, if unchecked, into criminal behaviour that threatens the safety and peace of mind of you, as the narcissist’s object, as well as those around you.

Detach and disassociate, remove yourself from the narcissist’s sphere of influence, warn others about the potential threat and, if necessary, don’t wait to get help with the situation. The true narcissist will attempt to isolate you, make you dependent on them and them feed off you in the most ugly and soul-destroying ways… and they never have to lay one finger on you.

Img. source: WikiHow
How to Handle Marriage to a Narcissist

There’s no need to get paranoid and start painting everyone around you as a narcissist, or a narcissist in training but just be aware if someone starts putting their unreasonable demands and pressures on you they might just be “making their move”…and not in a nice way either.

 

Copyright TB & RVL, 2018

  1. https://www.britannica.com/topic/Narcissus-Greek-mythology

Further Refs:

The Narcissist: Jekyll and Hyde

(https://freedomfromnarcissisticandemotionalabuse.weebly.com/)

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/

 

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

 

 

Crossroads 2018: Ageism or natural evolution?

“To state the facts frankly is not to despair the future nor indict the past.”
~ John F. Kennedy ~

Researched, Written, Edited and Presented by

Tim

PARENTAL ADVISORY: STRONG LANGUAGE AHEAD… Police those l’il eyes folks

Good evening,
I hope everyone is well, if not entirely happy…

Many of you may have seen, and read, the article “Ageism and the Greater Vampire Community” that was presented at the grumpyvamp.wordpress.com
There were several valid observations made in that article and while it may not accurately, nor entirely, reflect how the majority of the older members of the culture feel, that shouldn’t detract from it becoming a point of discussion, productive discussion even. Allow me to throw something else in here that might be of help in deciding whether to accept one point of view or the other of “Ageism”.

There are those who say that there are two things in life that are inevitable, “death and taxes”… I would suggest that should read “death, taxes and CHANGE”, change, no matter what your point of view, no matter what your politics, religion, sexual orientation, country of residence or philosophical leanings is, and always will be, inevitable.

The choice that faces every single person that has a brain and an ounce of intelligence is how to adapt and accept, or simply evade the change and hope it doesn’t take you down with it. In this particular “discussion” we have one point of view that relies on the role, the history, the struggles and fights, the achievements and successes of a particular generation of the modern Vampire culture to make a point and an opposing point of view that disregards such.

On the “disregard” side, or should we say, in the other “corner” we read the following comment, and I quote;

“Lmao. Fuck off, you stupid old bastard. The geriatric fucks like you that paved roads ten and twenty years ago still want to be worshiped as though you were fucking kings or something. Get over it. My generation will bury your asses, anyway.” (Excuse me but did he just threaten to kill me, or someone else? Or is the author just having a tantrum??? – Ed.)

I fail to see any saving grace whatsoever in that statement. It doesn’t seem to serve any purpose except, perhaps, to demonstrate that this particular “opponent” has nothing sensible or useful to say, doesn’t seem to care whether they embarrass themselves in public and also seems determined to destroy any shred of credibility they may be seeking to establish in this, or any other, culture.

Having said that, is there any validity to the “Youth against Age” point of view?

How many of you remember when you were fifteen, sixteen, seventeen and “running with your crew” in whatever home town you lived in?

How many of you remember the moment you became aware of the Real Vampire Culture and engaged in that for the first time?

How many of you recall the first House/ Order/ Court or Haven that you joined? And the “rules of conduct” that organisation had?

Do you recall what changes you, personally, went through between each of those events? The adjustments in thinking and acting that came with each?

What about when you got your first job, how did that go over?

Img. source: Nitty Griddy

“In the UK there is a strong youth politics movement, consisting primarily of the British Youth Council, the UK Youth Parliament and the Scottish Youth Parliament. In Africa the Program for Young Politicians in Africa (PYPA) all in good company with the Green Youth (Sweden) the Indian Youth Congress (India) the Communist Youth Movement and the Egypt Youth Party.” Young people actively engaging to learn about the role of politics and politicians in preparation for taking their places when the time comes.

In the Catholic Church, preparing for Priesthood takes a fairly long time as well, a time of learning and preparation. For example, “In the United States, priests must have a four-year university degree in philosophy plus an additional four to five years of graduate-level seminary formation in theology with a focus on Biblical research. A Master of Divinity is the most common degree.

In Scotland, there is a mandatory year of preparation before entering seminary for a year dedicated to spiritual formation, followed by several years of study.

In Europe, Australasia and North America, seminarians usually graduate with a Master of Divinity or a Master of Theology degree, which is a four-year professional degree (as opposed to a Master of Arts which is an academic degree). At least four years are to be in theological studies at the major seminary.

In Germany and Austria, priest candidates graduate with an academic degree (Magister theologiae, Diplom-Theologe, Master of Arts in Theology). The degree takes five years’ and is preceded by a year of spiritual formation (plus learning of the ancient languages) and followed by two years of pastoral practice (during which the candidate is ordained to the deaconate). Usually, priests spend all of that time in a seminary except one “free year”

Can you see the pattern here? Up and coming new and young leaders don’t just drop out of the sky all fully prepped, educated and with a firm grasp of the “reality” of the situation.

 

Anarchists, on the other hand, do simply drop out of… something and land running, they’re just not sure in which direction but they’re ready to fight, they’re just not certain against who, for a great and glorious cause that only they are privy to… they’re usually just not quite entirely sure what the cause is, or where it’s going.

You want to laugh now, go ahead, at fifteen I was an Anarchist so I’m speaking from experience.

Aretha Franklin 1967
img. source: Vogue Paris

Respect

(Redding)

“What you want, baby, I got

What you need, do you know I got it?

All I’m askin’

Is for a little respect when you come home…”

Aretha Franklin, 1967

Everybody has respect for something or for someone so it follows that everyone, except perhaps for the diehard Anarchist, knows what respect is. We get taught that from early childhood, mostly successfully, sometimes not. We go along through our early life and education being exposed to, and explained to, things like common courtesy, politeness and mutual respect then, at some point, some choose to forget all that, others choose to embrace it and make it part of the life. As a point of fact a learned friend of mine, a practicing Psychological Counsellor, explained to me that although we can treat everyone we come across with courtesy, respect and politeness we can’t, automatically, expect the same in return and, sadly, I find myself in agreement with that statement.

Some say respect has to be earned, they will tell you “I don’t respect people until they prove themselves worthy of my respect”F**K YOU C**K, who died and made you Emperor of the freakin’ Universe?

Some say, “To get respect you must show respect.” VERY sensible, that’s called mutual respect and it is how real, sensible and well-balanced individuals operate.

Others will say, “I don’t give a fuck whether you respect me or not…!”Fine BYE BYE…

Again, it’s all about choice.

 

img. source:
YSI South East Asia

Change and the next generation

When I became a father for the third time I realised that I couldn’t hope to look after my kids properly, while they grew, developed and strengthened by looking back on my own upbringing and applying the same rules as I held dear when I was running amok with the old crew. I realised that I had to move with the times, I had to update, I had to learn new things and accept new realities. I managed to navigate that and today I have three wonderful kids who are, respectively, an assistant manager, a shift manager and one who is studying youth and social work to work with “at risk” youth.

I supported, I guided and I nurtured their hopes and their dreams. That is what we “older Vamps” need to be doing now. REMEMBER death is not inevitable… even though there are those who claim immortality (sorry… it’s fiction) We will disappear sooner or later, later would be nice but how long are we going to try and keep an iron clad grip on the Culture? How long are we going to seek to stifle the “new young voices” that will follow in our footsteps? Is our legacy to be tottering, creaky and crumbling old establishment that will collapse into dust as soon as we’re not around to prop it up?

On the other hand, what are we looking at handing over to? This…???

“Lmao. Fuck off, you stupid old bastard. The geriatric fucks like you that paved roads ten and twenty years ago still want to be worshiped as though you were fucking kings or something. Get over it. My generation will bury your asses, anyway.”

“Now, now… here, this’ll make you feel better”
img. source: Vat19

I don’t know about you but after 16 years in the online culture and almost 39 years a real living Vampyre, that makes me shudder. Should we just close our eyes and walk away now and let the rabid dogs chew their own legs off? Should we just hand everything over to the young “fang bangers” now and say, “Screw you, you little tosser, ram it up your arse and fuck off…!”

As I said, it’s all about choices and to be quite honest, if the previous comment is indicative of the sort of thing we’re ALL up against now then I’m going to yell…

img. source: outtherecolorado.com… (and one of talented RVL artists…)

“LLAMA…LLAMA…LLAMA…LLAMA…LLAMA…LLAMA… I CAN”T HEAR YOU…!”

Then spit in the dust and go find something realistic and worthwhile to spend my time with. Oh, and I don’t need, OR WANT anyone to worship me by the way.

Copyright T.B. 2018

Refs:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Youth_politics#List_of_current_youth_politics_organizations

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priesthood_in_the_Catholic_Church

https://www.songlyrics.com/aretha-franklin/respect-lyrics/

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer

 

Crossroads 2018 – When Worlds Collide

“To state the facts frankly is not to despair the future nor indict the past.”
~ John F. Kennedy ~

Researched, Edited, Written and Presented by
Tim

But When Worlds Collide

Said George Pal to his bride

 I’m gonna give you some terrible thrills”(1)

img. source: ethicsalarms.com

When worlds collide, it’s a euphemism that has been, and is, used to cover a huge range of situations, social situations, personal situations, racial situations, intellectual and, of course, cultural situations.

There is no doubt that the modern Vampire culture has many things about it that don’t necessarily gel with the usually expected, dare we say “normal” (insert mundane if you wish) course of society so what happens when these two worlds collide.

The most common result is the “Tele-Vamp”, the person whom appears on daytime television and either attempts to explain “us” or those who appear to “make a name” with whatever actions/ statements they feel best fit the Vampire stereotype. Either way there is generally little harm or damage done in these instances. The general public may watch, shake their heads and smile. We may watch, shake our heads and groan.

There have been a number of documentaries produced with the assistance of highly credible and well-spoken members of the modern culture, they generate interest for a time, people come with serious questions, for a time but eventually these works become consigned to a teaching resource for our niche.

Within that scope so-far so-good but what happens when we, as a culture, come to the point of seriously engaging with people, bodies and organisations either on the fringe of, or completely outside our cultural identity?

Negotiating such involvements can be tricky and are fraught with danger because of the very way our “niche” operates within itself. An example, that embroils us at present, is one that all too frequently raises its head and that is making our endeavours into business arrangements.

John D. Rockefeller
img. source: aptv.org

“A friendship built on business can be glorious, while a business built on friendship can be murder.”

– John D. Rockefeller

…and no more so than when the matter is conducted in the “online” sphere. Comments are exchanged, comments are made, agreement over specific points are easily typed but NONE of these are ever subjected to the standard business activities of meetings, documentation and signatures. In the old days, even in my old days in small towns where I grew up in, “handshakes” sealed deals, it was clearly understood who was obligated to whom, for what reason and it was clearly expected that the “debt” would be repaid in good time and good order. If you, as the recipient of services, did not attend to it promptly and properly the whole town would be behind the person wronged. That was the entire power of the “handshake”.

img. source: mensfitness,com

 

These days, and most especially via social media it’s more a case of, “Yeah, whatcha gonna do about it?” or, “I never said that – that’s a faked message”.

Where have you got to go with that? Absolutely nowhere and so the whole matter goes to the “Court of Public Opinion”, a “Trial by (social)Media” if you will.

An uproar currently raging involves alleged business dealings between an East Coast event organisation and a West Coast promotional agency, and in particularly, the involvement of one individual with that and with another planned event over the winter just passed. The details, unfortunately, can’t be spelled out herein because there is the possibility of legal action still to take place and thus we can’t name name’s or places due to that but in broad brush strokes there were two events planned and scheduled, one which actually happened and one did not. One person was involved in both of the event planning stages.

In a nutshell, and depending on whose offered “evidentiary” material you care to give more credence to, there were issues that occurred which brought into question the “promise” versus “delivery” and, over a short period of time, became a question of, “was this a pre-meditated action, or set of actions, designed to make improperly obtained profit”.

On the other hand, could it have been a huge case of “taken for granted based on snippets of previous contacts and conversations”?

Without signed contracts the legalities of the situation become complicated and the resolution becomes extremely difficult to achieve even if you can get the involved parties to the negotiating table together.

img. source: www.adllawaz.com

The most obvious fallout from any situation like this is, naturally, the personal attacks that ensue when there is little concrete evidence available as to who did/said what and what time about what. No doubt about it, our culture is rife with this, it happens all the time on different scales and, the most damaging thing about that, the actions of a few can reflect badly on the work of many, many good people.

Next, of course, will almost certainly find some form of “scapegoating” occur when the fingers are pointed in one, or two, directions it seems that every ill-conceived, ill-advised and plain wrong thing that the target has ever made or done becomes a hot topic for discussion/ horror/ condemnation.

In this particular instance, much to the mystification of pretty much everyone, we have seen a person accused of starving pet animals to death, on purpose.

STEP BACK… Oh-kayyyyy, really? Is that right?
Hypothetically speaking, if a person is forced to move from a place and is unable to immediately take their pets with them (how many of you reading this have been in that situation? I know I have) and the next thing we know we are being treated to pictures of videos of pet cadavers, allegedly victims of starvation… colour me cynical if you will but I have to ask, where’s the vets certificate detailing the cause of death? And, if the cause was starvation, where were the people who so kindly provided the material? What were they doing while this allegedly happened? Standing by and watching just waiting for their chance to take corpse pictures??? Those would be my questions…

Yet this is the level of “bashing” that has come about as an indirect result of the crucifixion mentality in this instance.

When we arrive here we have to be very wary of things like Slander, a false spoken statement about someone that damages their reputation, or the making of such a statement. Libel, a piece of writing that contains bad and false things about a person and, of course, Defamation, to damage the reputation of a person or group by saying or writing bad things about them that are not true, any one of which can land the perpetrator in legal trouble and, quite possibly, court. I’m afraid you will find that Freedom of Speech does NOT cover Slander, Libel and Defamation.

In the course of trying to assist in resolving certain situations and in the course of researching, editing and preparing this presentation, I have been in close contact, either conducting interviews or discussions, or procuring written permission to present written materials corresponding to these matters, from all the main people intimately involved with both initial and ongoing situations. I have, as a result, material that supports complaint from pretty much all sides and in considering whether to place it all here in a special file for everyone to review I have had to, unfortunately, be mindful of the fact that since we have been advised that there may be legal proceedings in the offing, I can’t display that material at this time (so our advice has been received) but, I ask in all seriousness, what’s the point here? What questions arise from such a sequence of events?

Depending on the “friendships” and connections involved there are a number who will claim vindication regardless of the “evidence”, there will be those who will say, “Yes, but I LOST MONEY”, others will say “I lost reputation and business contacts”, maybe, “I lost credibility when it wasn’t really me that did…” and, unfortunately, there are those that will jump up and down about how so-and-so killed bunnies… and so it will go.

The main concern is that these incidents not be held as being representative of the entire Vampire Culture, there are a number of organisations out there, I have interviewed several both nationally and internationally, who are performing excellent and beneficial work in charity, social assistance and other projects who have, and are, conducting themselves in a most proprietary and creditable way – THEY do not deserve to be coloured with a tarry brush.

At some time or another everybody gets hurt, gets conned in one way or another, gets taken advantage of and gets used especially when you are talking about social media… all we can do is protect ourselves the best way we are able, where I come from we have an eleventh commandment (no offence nor slight intended to any of our Christian readers) and that is, “Cover thine arse“. Don’t promise to do things unless you have the means, the influence or the ability to make them happen, don’t make agreements for goods or services without getting properly generated governing documents drawn up and signed by all involved parties. If you’re going to have a dispute don’t go running to your friends to pour horror stories out about so-and-so, that’s cheap and nasty shot conduct and, while it may make you feel better and make someone feel a bit embarrassed until they get their supporters involved and escalate the situation in the end analysis it will only serve lower people’s opinions of you as well.

Lulu
img. source: twistinthedark.com

As the famous songstress Lulu said,
“Friendship is Friendship. Business is Business”

In conclusion:

Perhaps there is some credence to the notion that has been floated a number of times that such disputes do need to be dealt with by an impartial body of adjudication, that of course is entirely dependent upon whether the “independent arbitrators” are trained and have the skillset to adjudicate such matters. In the main that is why we have civil courts.

img.source: lobelog.com

Another thing we might also consider, think about a global situation that has existed for decades, the Israel/ Palestine issue… peace talks are carried out between Israel and Palestine with an officiating Facilitator approved by both. Another model that can be employed and which ends in a written and signed agreement to achieve a resolution.

The models are all around us in the world and yet we, as a culture, seem hell bent on embracing “drama” and “feud”, drama and feuds that we create, as a norm and, once created, are greeted with a majority of hands being thrown up to a bitter chorus of “Oh the drama, Oh the drama…!”, and not much in the way of solutions.

What does that say about our culture?
Copyright TB 2018


1) ‘Science Fiction Double Feature’ – The Rocky Horror Picture Show,

Twentieth Century Fox and Michael White Productions, 1975

Resources:

Free templates for common business forms

https://www.entrepreneur.com/formnet

https://www.printablecontracts.com/

https://www.rocketlawyer.com/legal-forms-business.rl

 

Legal resource links regarding Slander, Libel and Defamation on Social Media

http://injury.findlaw.com/torts-and-personal-injuries/defamation-and-social-media–what-you-need-to-know.html

http://www.alllaw.com/articles/nolo/civil-litigation/defamation-slander-internet.html

 

NB: Where used, quoted portions of other works are reproduced by permission, or under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, wherein allowance is made for “fair use” for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research.

This article may be linked to but may not be copied or reproduced, nor redistributed in any manner, including electronic without the express permission of the copyright owners.

The views and opinions presented in this article are the opinions of the author and/or contributors and do not necessarily represent the views and opinions of The Owner/s of RVL, their officers, assigns or agents. RVL and its officers do not personally, individually, or jointly necessarily recommend or condone any of the activities or practices represented.

For further information please see the RVL Website Disclaimer