Welllllllllllllll it’s Sat’dy night….

Chainsawed, Mashed Up, Slapped aroun’ th’ place,
Sprayed in ya face like a fuckin’ can uv mace…!!!



Well, slap me upside a tree and call me a Flying Fox me little mammal friends… how the feathery, flappin’ fuck are ya?

Saturday again, already, how the time flies by when you’re having fun eh?

We got a message at our Facebook portal this week, a question actually, “How to become a Vampire?”… goes right up there with, “Can u make me Vampire?”, “Tell me how to become Vampire?”, “Make me Vampire… I give you – blood/money/my sister” et fucking al…!!!

We need every fucking sane modern living Vampire to take to their websites, FaceBook, Blog, Website… whatever and post the message very clearly in very large colourful letters. “YOU CAN’T BE MADE INTO A VAMPIRE – EITHER YOU ARE ONE OR YOU ARE NOT AND NO AMOUNT OF WISHING WILL MAKE IT ANY OTHER WAY”

Despite assertions that people do take on “Vampiric Characteristics” when in long term, close personal relationships with real Vampires these traces go away once the relationship is ended.

MAKING YOURSELF DIE WHILE SAYING “MAGIC” WORDS WILL NOT MAKE YOU TURN INTO A VAMPIRE…! – Yes, really, we have really had people offer to commit suicide if we will give them the power to become Vampires afterwards… NOTE: ALL YOU WILL BE IS DEAD…!!!

‘Nuff said… AGAIN*sigh* – and no, that wasn’t the Weekly Biatch either

Heyyyyyy… something real interesting’s been floating around for a while now, apparently, and, in the way of all things VC, it eventually hit the fan… and splattered…

The Med-Sang Menace

Hmmmm, never really considered them a menace… just thought they were in a philosophically superior place to everybody else is all… Well, take a look at Lady Sylvere’s Grumpy Vamp and read up, if you haven’t already.

Apparently one of the authors has come forward and apologised for their part in creating the document in question… do people need to apologise for expressing themselves in the United States?

As Lady Sylvere commented, “Oops. My hand slipped. 😂”… hmmmmm

Img. source: UC Santa Cruz Police Department

Jus’ sayin…!

annnnnnnnnnd that, quite naturally, means we need to get it on and make sum fucking noize kids…!




Img. Source: Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition

The Greater Chicago Vampire Coalition is gathering steam, the new initiative to bring Chicago Nightkind together, incorporating VTOC (Vampires, Therians and Otherkin Chicago), Chicago Vampires and Chicago Vampires Meetup (CVM) are developing local programs to bring the kin together in the windy city. Continuing and expanding a tradition of monthly live meet-ups the Coalition is reaching out to all Chicago kin. The GCVC also reaches out to neighbouring states to provide networking opportunities between groups in the Midwest U.S.

To all our readers and visitors, if you haven’t already, please drop by the GCVC and let them know you approve of/ support their efforts would ya….


Alrighty then, and with that image firmly fixed in our minds let’s see what’s going on around the place… Thanks, naturally and always, to Our Serene Lady of The Facebook, Lady M…

Harpoon Hanna’s


The Austin “World Dracula Day” Pageant

The VCA comes together with The Glass Coffin to celebrate the ol’ boy’s birthday with a pageant…

What? Whaddaya mean he can’t have a birthday…? ‘Course he’s fucking real… Renfield told me…

Tom Waits as R,M, Renfield in Francis Ford Coppola’s “Bram Stoker’s Dracula” (1992)
American Zoetrope
Columbia Pictures Corp. &
Osiris Films



annnnnnnd morrrrrrre…!!!

Whaoh, yeah, hah… WOOT…!!!

BritHulk by T.

Awright, awright… back on track Mister Damage…!!!

Ooooh, right, yeah, talking of balls…

Img. Source: Penelope’s Venue


Penelope’s Venue Vampires Ball

Public · Hosted by Penelope’s Venue

Saturday, October 27, 2018 at 7 PM EDT

12219 Dix Toledo Rd, Southgate, Michigan 48193



What else we got then…???
Ooooooh, y’all gonna be fucking busy in good ol’ Michigan…

Img. Source: Third Eye Magic, Michigan

Celebrating Samhain
Public · Hosted by Third Eye Magic
12219 Dix Toledo Road, Southgate, Michigan 48195

Yup, ’tis almost ‘pon us… and remember, “An harm ye none, do as ye will.”

Now here’s something you don’t get every day…!!!

Now then,
I’ve been doing a bit of research… yeah, really… I’ve got something I want to share with you dear reader…

Did you know –

“Over half of people aged 16 and over in the UK (55.5%) were mostly or completely satisfied with their job in 2015 to 2016. While over the short-term this measure showed no overall change (55.8% in 2014 to 2015), there was a deterioration over the long-term (59.0% in 2010 to 2011).” Updated: 25 April 2018

and, in Australia,

Img. source: Curtin University, Western Australia (Best surf state…!!!)

Meanwhile, on this side of th’ pond…

(Provided by Forbes) we read, “10 Shocking Workplace Stats You Need To Know”… the list was compiled by David Sturt and Todd Nordstrom, researchers, consultants and authors inside the O.C. Tanner Institute.

Here are a few of their discoveries…

A recent study by CareerBuilder.com shows that a whopping 58 percent of managers said they didn’t receive any management training.
89 percent of bosses believe employees quit because they want more money. Only 12 percent of employees actually leave an organization for more.
A Harvard Business Review survey reveals 58 percent or people say they trust strangers more than their own boss.
Global studies reveal that 79 percent of people who quit their jobs cite ‘lack of appreciation’ as their reason for leaving. People don’t leave companies, they leave bosses.

More in-depth stats available at 

“WHOA, whatup? M*****f*****s done lost his mind completely now… Why is this relevant? What does it have to do with Vampyres?” I hear you cry….

And that, my fine friends, leads us very nicely to…


Img. Source: simply-chateau

Job dissatisfaction… lemme ask the question, how many of you Vampyres work for a living, like me?

How many of you dislike, nay, even hate, your job? How many of you work long, hard hours for inadequate return and minimal benefits? How many of you get home at night and unload on your significant other (making them miserable in the process) before scoffing a television meal and downing six bears so you can pass out in front of the t.v. and take the pain away for a while… before the next gut churning, mind aching, numbing shift comes along to ruin your life again?

Ever thought there’s something wrong with that entire picture?

So, change it…!!!


Yeah, yeah, I know… you have a thousand and one good reasons… reasons? or excuses, to not rock the boat.

Let me entertain you with the tale of a wild colonial boy.

I arrived in the United States in late March of 2013. People told me it would take me a good 6 months to a year to find a decent job… I had one in four.

The first ever job interview I attended here was with an owner/manager who looked over my C.V. and made all sorts of “I’m impressed” noises before telling me it was very impressive but wasn’t worth shit here in the U.S., “We don’t recognise foreign qualifications in America” he said. I gathered my papers up, politely thanked him for his time, shook his hand and at the door I turned, flipped him the bird and said “Fuck you…!” – Nobody tells me what I can’t do – period.

Long and short of it I knew where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do, it took me until June 11 this year to get there. Today I have a great job, I like getting out of bed in the morning to get into it, the pay is adequate, I have moderate health benefits sorted out and great people that I work with. Point is, you can too, if you have the balls to go for it…!!!

If you haven’t – STOP READING NOW.

The first thing you have to do is stop paying so much attention to booze and television, that won’t get ya nuthin’.

Second, get around, either to the local job centres or on the internet and see what’s out there for you to think about. So, you don’t have the qualifications for what you want to do – GET THEM…!!! Community colleges and adult education offer a huge range of options to suit just about everyone and there are Federal Programs to give you funds to study. If it’s not enough get a part-timer or Casual to carry you through while you study… y’know, wait tables, flip burgers… whatever.


There are no external reasons for your unhappiness… there are no reason’s why, with a little work and effort, and maybe a little sacrifice here and there, you can’t have what you want. I’ve always gone out and made things happen the way I want, sometimes it takes time, perseverance and ingenuity but then I don’t believe y’all are any less intelligent than I am eh?

‘Nuff said.

Like Jimmy says…

“All you need is work, tra lah lalalaaaaa, all you need is wor….” Wot? Love? Ohhhhhhh yeah, all you need is love right?

Yeeeeeeah… how coolio is that?

Well, guess it’s time for me to stfu now… what? Did I hear you agree? Well, here’s something just for you…

“The Hand That Wins” by T.


Ta-rah me little Homunculi…!!!

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