Rockin’ around the Solstice tree…

Dreamed up, warped, bent and wrapped before being slapped down by


Yes, yeass…YEAHHHHHHH… it’s that one day of the year, the shortest day of the year, the least number of daylight hours which means the most number of darkness hours – perfect day to celebrate the modern living Vampyre culture, no?

Sooooooo… what can we get up to today?

Ahhh, yeah, my lovely lady wife and I were honoured to host a directors meeting of the GCVC last weekend, in conjunction with a birthday bash for Lady L. Great night, drink flowed, food, a humungous chocolate cake and a little of the red stuff to boot… mmmmmm…!!!

Had a good long yap about the developments planned for the Greater Chicagoland Vampire Coalition for the New Year and reviewed the bonds being forged, as we speak, with Vampire groups here in the Windy City.

It’s going to be exciting following the dynamic duo of Derek and Lady K that’s for sure…!

GCVC Facebook, GCVC Group on Facebook and GCVC Meetup




So, anyway.. along about this time of year there’s a lot of folks get to thinking about (and offering interpretations of) the meaning of Christmas right? Well, I’ve been doing some research and I reckon I’ve got it all worked out…

Anyway, there’s this fine lady by the name of Selena F. who writes for Circle… she’s got the goods on the solstice and this got me, a hardline neo-pagan, thinking…

Thinking about her advice for the winter solstice, things like,
“Celebrate Yule with a series of rituals, feasts, and other activities.” – Yup, I’m down with feasting…

“Have gift exchanges and feasts over the course of several days and nights as was done of old. Party hearty on New Year’s Eve not just to welcome in the new calendar year, but also to welcome the new solar year.”
Ooooohhhh…prezzies and booze… yup, I’m there.

“Convey love to family, friends, and associates.” – I LOVE YOU GUYS AN’ GALS, REALLY, I LURRRRRRRVE Y’ALL…!!! (Okay, got that covered Selena)

Doin’ well here….

“Honor the new solar year with light. Do a Solstice Eve ritual in which you meditate in darkness and then welcome the birth of the sun by lighting candles and singing chants and Pagan carols.”

Hey, yeah, I knew a Pagan by the name of Carol once… course, she was also known as “The Acid Queen” (…but that’s a whole ‘nother story…!!!)

This is all so cool…

“Reclaim Santa Claus as a Pagan Godform. Today’s Santa is a folk figure with multicultural roots. He embodies characteristics of Saturn (Roman agricultural god), Cronos (Greek god, also known as Father Time), the Holly King (Celtic god of the dying year), Father Ice/Grandfather Frost (Russian winter god), Thor (Norse sky god who rides the sky in a chariot drawn by goats), Odin/Wotan (Scandinavian/Teutonic All-Father who rides the sky on an eight-legged horse), Frey (Norse fertility god), and the Tomte (a Norse Land Spirit known for giving gifts to children at this time of year). Santa’s reindeer can be viewed as forms of Herne, the Celtic Horned God. Decorate your home with Santa images that reflect His Pagan heritage.”


“If you choose to have a living or a harvested evergreen tree as part of your holiday decorations, call it a Solstice tree and decorate it with Pagan symbols.”

OH-KAY… Let’s do it…!!!
Tree, Goats, Pagan symbols, pentagrams, deck the halls with….

…annnnnnd Merry Sol….

Wait, what?… whaddaya mean it’s…. Oh, OHHHHH… wooops, my bad…

Just remember kiddies, when all’s said and done, this Christmas…

HeeHeeHee… no, really… okay, okay, let’s break it down another way… does anybody think about the whole Jesus birth thing an’ stuff?

Yeah, been looking into that too…

Let’s see if we can follow this through…

So, we know from Roman Imperial census records that Joseph was returned to his home town in response to a census order from Caesar Augustus, in this case the town was Bethlehem since that was the “seat” of his Clan, The City of David. Okay, so far so good…

Oh, by the way, did I mention he was, reportedly, a carpenter by trade? So, Jesus’ (maybe) Dad was WORKING CLASS…!!!

Now, who was this bird Mary? How did Joseph meet her? At a disco? A bar mitzvah? Family wedding? On vacation? No one really knows it would seem. The best available theory seems to indicate that she was a 1st-century BC, Galilean Jewish, woman of Nazareth. What did she do for a crust? Was she working class? Nobody knows that either.

Here is where it all starts to get a bit “off track”.

The following canonical verses seem to perpetuate the idea that J.C. was descended (presumably by normal biological means) from The Clan of David which would but Joseph right in the hot-seat.

“Therefore being a prophet [David], and knowing that God had sworn with an oath to him, that of the fruit of his loins, according to the flesh, he would raise up Christ to sit on his throne.” Acts 2:30

“Of this man’s seed [David’s] hath God, according to his promise, raised unto Israel a Saviour, Jesus.” Acts 13:23

“Concerning his son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh.” Romans 1:3

“Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David.” 2 Timothy 2:8

“For verily he [Jesus] took not on him the nature of angels, but he took on him the seed of Abraham. Hebrews” 2:16

“I Jesus have sent mine angel to testify unto you these things in the churches. I am the root and the offspring of David.” Revelation 22:16

So, no big stretch you say… J.C. was descended from the Clan of David because Joseph slept with Mary… except, she denied having been with a man…!!!

Hmmmmm… anyone know what the penalty for “out of wedlock” stuff was back then?

A suggestion allegedly made by contemporary critics of Jesus was that he was conceived out of wedlock with an unknown man. This might even have been involuntary which may have resulted in a “marital arrangement” being made with a man who was able to “overlook” the event.

Plausible… plausible… Jesus’ dad might even have been a Roman soldier… imagine that.

Now, we all know the popular canonical theory that she was visited first by the angel Gabriel and then, shortly thereafter by the Holy Ghost…

“When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.” Matthew 1:18

“And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring for a son, and shalt call his name Jesus …. Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be seeing I know not a man. And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee.” Luke 1:31-35

Does that make one of your eyebrows go up?

So, contradictory explanations for the pregnancy of the millennia… Where to turn then?

Controversy rages as to whether Joseph and Mary ever engaged in conjugal relations, or had other children together, although a notable fact remains about Joseph is that not a single word is spoken by him in any of the Four Gospels and, what’s more, NO account is given of Joseph’s presumed agony? Anger? Disappointment? Over finding his virgin bride to be pregnant.

Perhaps the marriage contract didn’t stipulate that part.

So, now, here we are at Christmas… we are celebrating, what are we celebrating? Well, no one’s really sure… If you are of a Christian faith then you’re celebrating the birth of Jesus but if you’re not of the Christian faith then I mean the whole “present” thing is, as far as I understand it, supposed to emulate the giving of gifts by the “Three Wise Men”… the three Magi from the East. Question, if you had precious ointments, incenses and gold would you be inclined to just drop them in the first manger with a new-born in that you came across?

There’s something fishy about the whole thing if you ask me but hey, look on the bright side, you get presents don’t you? So thank your lucky stars, and the Christians that you don’t have to…

SERIOUSLY, no seriously…
From all of us at RVLI, whatever you’re having, Christmas, Yule, Solstice, whatever, may it be happy, safe and peaceful…

Now, y’all might be thinking, along about now, “Hey, this fella’s been thinking too much… been slipping in a few PRE-Chrissy drinks maybe, hmmm???”


But there is one thing more I been thinking on, “The Weekly Biatch”, yes, that outrageously popular segment where I treat y’all to my opinion on things, unchallenged, unmolested and unconditionally… well, I got to thinking there’s plenty of places around if you dig that sort of thing and really, what right have I to ram my thoughts down ya throats?

So, from today the “Biatch” is retired… to be replaced by the awesomeness of…

Soooooo, I been thinkin’…

Right about now, the season of peace and joy to the world being upon us, would be a great time to sit back with a drop of your favourite and simply reflect on the year that has been. Think back on the struggles and realise they are now behind you. Think back on the feuds, the snarkiness, the unfair criticisms you’ve levelled, the times you’ve sat down at the computer with popcorn, or pop-tart, loaded up Facebook and, with a sly smile, thought, “Okay, whose day can I fuck up and get a giggle out of it?”

REALLY? Why did all those things happen? What was your motivation? At days (or night’s) end did you really have a win by being a douchebag?

Yeah, I think that now would be a really cool time to sit and reflect and make a promise to be a better douch… NO..Noooo… I mean to NOT be a douchebag from hereon… the world would be a much better place don’t you think? Well, at least our little culture corner would.

Jus. sayin’

Be at peace y’all…

Copyright T & RVLI (except where otherwise noted) 2018

Refs. and Thanks to:

Selena F. writing at Circle


Naergi’s Costuming Site




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