Lady CG of Smoke and Mirrors
So you’ve discovered you’re a vampyre, and right now it feels like it sucks to be you. Every older vampyre like myself, still remembers what it felt like to be the “newly awakened”, and you’re right… it can suck. You’re hungry, you’re depressed, and you want to rebel against your parents and the world in general. (And it’s not a feeling restricted ONLY to youth… we older folks just rebel against different things, since our parents shouldn’t be the problem once we get out on our own). You don’t’ fit in with most circles of normal peers, light hurts your eyes, people say you’re weird…. You feel like a complete outcast, or maybe you just feel like you don’t fit in anywhere…. Life hurts. A lot, and frequently.
I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t’ have to be like that. I’m here to tell you… it gets better.
It’s really a matter of pulling it all together.
If you’ve been a vampyre for any length of time you already know what it takes to just survive. You’ve probably learned that donors are tough to find, but there are feeding alternatives. You’ve most likely come to realize (since you’re reading this) that you are incredibly unlike others around you, but you are NOT alone. You’ve faced the fact that your family and friends may never understand what you are, but you’ve likely learned that discretion is the better part of valor… and you can KIND of appear to at LEAST not stand out ALL the time…. and thanks to boards like ours, you don’t’ have to be alone. It’s a good start.
But it’s not enough to SURVIVE… Vampyres CAN thrive!
Yes… it can be tough to be a vampyre… or Therian, or any kind of otherkin. But what you learn, as you get older, is that each species has gifts that were given to us to make our lives easier, and keep us on top things.
Let’s start with feeding….
Yes we need to feed. It’s a fact. If you call yourself a vampyre and you DON’T need to feed in some way or another, then you’re fooling yourself… you’re NOT a vampyre, if you do not need to feed. And needing to feed starts to feel like the be all and end all that your life revolves around… where will I find my next donor? What if I can’t find a donor? We all know there are alternatives. We mix our fruity sweet red wine (3 parts) to fresh or frozen blood (one part) and drink our bloodwine to keep us sane… We drag our steaks over the grill just long enough to warm the blood inside, and gulp them down 3 times a week if necessary. It’ll get you through the night, though we all know it’s not what we crave. Donors! Ah Sweet donors. But they are few and far between, and competition for the ones available, can be disconcerting…. We all know the problems.
One of the things I’ve learned is that to stay fed, one should be prepared to rely on ALL the above AND a bit of psi vamping.
Being a well-adjusted vamp relies on a steady supply of food… which for us, means blood / energy. A mature vampyre realizes that it’s just not always possible to have a donor, but that doesn’t’ mean we can go without feeding when one isn’t’ available. My advice is to learn what works for you and be diligent about using your back up methods. An unfed vamp is a sick vamp, and usually an unstable one. Don’t do it to yourself… feed frequently and realize… people cannot go without food… and YOU cannot go without blood / energy. Don’t try. It’s the equivalent of a human starving themselves. “But I crave blood from a DONOR… NOT animal blood!” I hear it ALL the time. Yes. I know. I understand…. but you need to feed even when you don’t’ have a donor. Maturity is realizing that feeding is inevitable and other sources of food HAVE to be in your back up plan. You don’t like animal blood? Too bad. Quit bitching and starve quietly. Blood is available, even if you don’t’ like the source. It’s like a starving human refusing to eat cause he / she doesn’t’ like what’s on their plate.
That said… nature has given us certain advantages with which to attract a donor…
“Venus flytrap syndrome”
We are the bright and the enigmatic… we are the “beautiful people”. Vampyric charm is a gift, a rather effective one, at that.
Vampyres are some of the most charming people on the planet, when we are not feeling sorry for our lot in life. We can smile and the masses fall at our feet. The opposite sex or the same sex… whatever you’re into. If you turn a well-tuned vamp charm on your intended donor / mate/ victim/ friends the effect can be amazing.
“Well yes, CG…. I know I can turn on the charm and get my own way… but is it ethical?” I can only speak for myself here… but I’m of the opinion that we have our gifts for a reason. Why throw away our most effective coping mechanism, based on ethics? And what’s wrong with using charm to get what we want, anyway? I mean… whose stupid idea is THAT? I believe it’s much better to attract your flies with honey than to repel them with vinegar and starve.
Besides…. honing this skill makes life SO much easier! Pay attention. Don’t be afraid to turn on the charm. Vampiric charm can be overwhelming… so you’ll need to experiment. It’s one of the best tools in our arsenal. But it’s NOT the only one.
Energy manipulation is another gift that helps make our lives easier.
If you’re a vampyre, and you haven’t’ tried out your magickal abilities, then you are missing out on one of the truly rewarding gifts of being a vampyre. We have amazing abilities to work ‘magick’. Like all abilities, it’s a gift that needs to be honed to a skill, but it’s a skill that comes easily to us.
Don’t overlook it. For those who are skeptical of all magical working I have this to say:
Magick is not what people once thought it to be. It doesn’t’ have ANYTHING to do with being good or evil or even religion, any more than a mathematical calculation does. Magick is NOT religion. It is Science. And, as such is governed by laws and principals… cause and effect. It’s the art of manipulating energy. Period. You can prove it too yourself easily: Buy or borrow a “plasma ball”. Sit in front of it, a foot or two away. Concentrate on building a colored energy ball in your hands, rather like picturing yourself building a snowball only you’re building it out of energy. Picture the energy flowing from your hands and becoming a solid ball between your palms. Picture the colors swirling in the ball. When you feel the ball is solid, throw it at the plasma ball. The plasma ball reacts to energy. If you do it right (might take a try or two, but it’s easy to master…) the plasma ball will react, even when the energy ball is thrown from across the room.
It’s a gift, folks. Magick is a skill worth having. It can make your like SO much easier in ways I can’t begin to describe in this short article.
Like magick, intuition is also our friend. Vampiric intuition is among the best I know of… excepting, perhaps, some types of therians, who seem to be especially instinctive in a very real and very feral way. Use it. Learn to rely on it. It can and will save you, if you ever need it to. As vamps we are aware that there are more things out there, than those who live the more mundane world will EVER realize! Vampiric intuition is another developable skill. As you get older and more practiced you’ll learn to throw out your intuition like a net. It can tell you if other vampyres are around, if there are people in your vicinity that would make donors, if there is danger nearby. It will help you get that job you want (combined with vamp charm), or pick up the object of your present interest at a bar. So learn to meditate and learn to use this gift to best advantage! After all… there comes a time when we come to realize that as vampyres, we have a LOT more control of our lives and surroundings, then most of us realize and once we stop fighting our nature and learn to integrate it into our lives we can live very satisfying and fruitful existences…
But… that’s the problem, isn’t it? That tendency of ours to fight our nature.
Ok… so we’re night people and we’re often forced into a diurnal existence…. There comes a time when we can stop fighting what we are and order our lives to our liking. We all grow up and leave home (hopefully). Once that happens you have, essentially, the ability to control your own destiny. Hate the light? Get a night job. Don’t’ say “I can’t!” you can. Anyone can! You just have to stop telling yourself you can’t. You don’t want to keep your vamp life a secret? Find a mate you can confide in. “But my lover wouldn’t’ understand!” then find another lover. You have ALL the skills necessary to change anything about your life you don’t’ like. Use charm, use magick, use intuition…. MAKE your like be what you want it to be. You just need to realize that YOU CAN!
As Vampyres we overlook / ignore/ get to lazy/ forget that we are given our gifts to compensate for the difficulty of being who we are. It’s not wrong to properly use our gifts to make us the healthy, happy, well-adjusted creatures we are capable of being. I know we tend to fall into depression and we have dark moods… but Vamps are among the most resilient people I know! We’re stronger physically than most normal humans… We’re attractive in ways other species would royally envy if they knew about it! We’re often physically attractive and tend to become more and more attractive as we get older. We have the ability to order our world around us to our liking using energy manipulation… In reality, we have it all going for us, once we accept our gifts and learn to take advantage of them.
So… next time the road to being an older vamp gets you down… next time 2nd stage changes become so painful that you don’t’ think you can bear another day of the physical discomforts, the next time you get depressed enough to want to commit suicide…
REMEMBER: You are in the process of developing into one of the most powerful and seductive creatures on our planet. And believe me…. the end justifies the means. Learn to use and enjoy the gifts that make being a vampyre one of the most exciting lives imaginable.
Vampyres were not meant to just “Survive”…. WE are capable of being able to really THRIVE!
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